This morning, I saw an “X” post by Roxanne Hoge. Roxanne is the wife of RedState's Bob Hoge. She wrote about a relative who was making light of the assassination attempt of Donald Trump.   

After doing a 5:30 am interview (with @NBCLA) I spent the day with family to celebrate a birthday.

I opened WhatsApp to a message from a family member, who is a fervent leftist (albeit unsurprisingly uninformed) with a "joke" about the attempted assassination of… pic.twitter.com/zyPmBCGslW

— Roxanne Hoge (@RoxanneHoge) July 16, 2024

And this:

Thank you Mary.

I've no idea what party you're registered with, but we are all Americans and should reject the dehumanization of others.

This is just a sample of what my real-life friends are posting on @Facebook. I'm not entirely surprised, because I watched people wish… pic.twitter.com/0vtZiGTsGd

— Roxanne Hoge (@RoxanneHoge) July 14, 2024

On Sunday, I opined that Crooks wasn’t an aberration. The hate that consumed him and led him to murder wasn’t isolated. Hundreds if not thousands have been inculcated in a cult. They believe that Trump specifically, and conservatives in general, are less than human. Worthy of removal by death or at least banishment.  

 A few years ago, a relative told me: “I don’t want to hear your facts." I am not kidding.  He was upset to the point of cutting me off. I was providing evidence. He didn’t like that. Hard evidence - like blackletter facts. He didn’t want to hear facts. Putting his fingers in his ears was the solution. 

Before the 2016 election, another relative was constantly reposting commentary from people like former labor security under Bill Clinton and rabid leftist Robert Reich. When she wasn’t reposting big thinkers like Reich, she was littering her social media with her own bile. 

She reposted a Reich commentary that castigated conservatives and opined that, specifically, Republicans are generally hateful lemmings. I emailed her. I asked her to consider my aging mother before she reposts “I hate Republicans” rhetoric. I reminded her that my mom consumed social media to keep up with family, and if she saw that post, she might take it personally since she was a lifelong Republican. I didn’t lecture - I suggested that she consider her audience.  

Shortly thereafter, she posted a Mark Twain “quote”. I don’t recall the made-up quote, but it was something I knew was falsely attributed to Twain. Something like this: 

I let her know that the Twain quote was fake. She let me have it. Both barrels. She laid into me like a rabid wolverine. She accused me of a lot of things that were false and blocked me on social media. 

When my mom died, she didn’t come to the funeral even though it was within driving distance. She had claimed to love my mom, yet she stayed home. I’ve thought that there is some rich irony in her name. Hilary. No double “L” like the twice running and twice losing Hillary, but they share a vengeful streak and harpy-like qualities.  

At dinner a few years ago, a liberal friend became very animated about guns and gun control. He got louder and louder. I finally said, “Why are you yelling?” Unlike Hilary, that friend will engage in conversation but often won’t listen to facts. My point is that we, as conservatives need to engage in conversation with people willing to listen and, if possible, do so respectfully. There are advantages to being calm and respectful when speaking with contrarians. When people are calm(er), it is much easier to recall facts. Collaterally getting red-faced angry generally tells the audience and those forced to listen that you’ve lost the argument and your only recourse is angry rhetoric.  

Many readers have suggested that I cut off friendships with my liberal buddies. I won’t. Unless they pull a Hilary and cut me off, I will continue to be friends with people who disagree with me. There are RedState staff members and writers who were once liberals, and they rejected the dark side and came over.  

Sure, there are plenty of people who still wish ill on Trump and lament that Crooks missed. But there are people who weren’t inclined to vote for Trump who will do so now. Trump was calm and collected even though he had been shot. If Trump remains calm and puts out a hand, he will win votes.  

I’m sorry that Roxanne’s relative has a stone for a heart. I have one too. But as conservatives, we should be willing to engage with relatives or friends who disagree with us - until they won’t. Unless they turn into a Hilary and cut you off, take the time to talk.  

"I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

Abraham Lincoln.

Yes, Lincoln said that. An actual quote. The friends and family he was addressing didn’t listen. Civil War followed. We cannot force the other side to be the better angels of our nature -- but we can. And by doing  so, we might change a mind.