In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards," a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today in an audacious fashion.
These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, for this year’s Remmys.
Distinguished Investigative Reporting
Ian Stokolos - Politico
After a recent flight from California, the crew of Air Force One noticed a significant amount of the amenities on board were missing. Plates, cocktail tumblers, wine glasses, and other fixtures are frequently items that get pocketed by reporters riding along on the flights.
The problem is pervasive enough that the White House Correspondents Association (WHCA) had to issue a letter to members, telling them to stop absconding with the branded items from the plane. In speaking with other reporters on the matter, Stokolos learned how extensive the larcenous practice has been over the years; one correspondent from a major outlet would stage parties in their home, and the dinnerware was made up entirely of looted china from the president’s plane.
It appears that every single White House reporter is stealing stuff off of Air Force Onehttps://t.co/EdJOKxZvBf
— Sam Stein (@samstein) March 29, 2024
Distinguished Sports Reporting
Kim Bojorquez - Axios
The temptation to latch onto and hype any claim of racism is just too much for reporters to resist, no matter how ignorant the claim. In women’s professional soccer, there is a new gripe: the Utah Royals have a racially insensitive, white supremacist logo on their jerseys.
The team, and its stadium, are sponsored by America First Credit Union, and its trademark is a bald eagle. But some players and fans have declared this is forwarding a “complex and hateful history of the name and the ongoing effects of American nationalism and white supremacy.” That these are people connected to other teams, from Washington and the D.C.-affiliated clubs, makes this all the more asinine.
The Utah Royals are facing scrutiny over their jersey and stadium sponsor's name and logo which some are accusing of having racist and white supremacist connotations. https://t.co/OmEJ6LNftd
— Axios (@axios) April 4, 2024
Distinguished Cultural Criticism
Nicholas Hautman - Page Six
The fact that Beyonce has released a country music album continues to bedevil the press. After claims that country fans would struggle with a black performer were blown apart by her song sitting at number-one for weeks, other avenues of griping need to be explored. In the latest example of stunted thinking, her success is said to have “saved” country music, which had been a dying genre, according to Hautman.
Small problem: The entertainment writer was not inspired to research his claim. At all. In 2023, country music was the most-streamed music genre, and for the first time in chart history, multiple country artists sat in the top positions on the national singles chart. In truth, Beyonce was looking to capitalize on this reality by moving into the popular genre.
EDITOR: "Now Nick, you say country music is "dying", and that "it is on life-support". Should we research and fact-check this?"
— Brad Slager - Scrubbing Down In a Bloodbath (@MartiniShark) April 2, 2024
NICK: "Nah - everyone knows this is accurate, you can just run it." https://t.co/L3gPpNijVi pic.twitter.com/rqQEK3VkHK
Distinguished Local Reporting
Ismael Belkoura- Dallas Observer
A teacher in Texas wants to appear on the ballot for President of the United States, and instead of garnering votes by running on a platform of change, he instead has opted for a name change. In a move to earn traction with voters, that you cannot deny should have an effect if he makes it onto the ballot, he has legally changed his name to Literally Anyone Else.
ICYMI: Every election cycle, there’s a new headline that draws the eyes of the nation’s electorate. Now, an aspiring North Texas candidate named Literally Anybody Else is getting a lot of attention.
— Dallas Observer (@dallas_observer) March 31, 2024
https://t.co/jZrwjS2uAG
Distinguished International Reporting
Associated Press
In London, comedian Ed Gamble wanted to promote his upcoming live shows so he put up posters in the subway terminals for his “Hot Diggity Dog” comedy tour. After the posters had gone up, Gamble was notified by the transit authority that they were in violation of standards and had to be taken down.
Gamble is depicted sitting at a table with ketchup and mustard smeared on his shirt, and a hotdog sitting in front of him on a plate. There is a rule in London that there should be no advertising of junk foods, to protect children's health. So, Gamble was compelled to alter his posters. Now, he is seen - condiments still on his front - but now with a cucumber featured on the plate.
No joke: UK comedian told to remove hot dog from subway poster over junk food ban
— Christian Toto (@HollywoodInToto) March 29, 2024
https://t.co/0ZiCfKmjNX
Distinguished Sports Reporting
Amaris Encinas - USA Today
In another case of people looking for a reason to be upset, there is a case of a minor league baseball team that held a naming contest for its mascot. The Saint Paul Saints have a pig they use for promotional, in game-purposes, and they decided to take suggestions for a name of their porcine mascot. Well over 2,000 submissions were received, and the team settled on a winner.
“Ozempig”.
This playful and witty take on the currently popular, weight-loss drug managed to generate its share of pushback from those who seem to need to be upset to be happy. The team's Instagram account received comments charging them with insensitivity, cruelty, and other hypersensitive but underdeveloped accusations. We here at the offices of The Remmys are rather averse to offenses, so our consensus has been that if you are the sort who is offended by the joke name of a pig mascot maybe you have issues that are alleviated with the use of prescriptions apart from Ozempic.
Cute or cruel? Team's 'Ozempig' mascot draws divided response as St. Paul Saints double down https://t.co/YMzIuXcEFm
— Courier Journal (@courierjournal) April 3, 2024
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