Report: Yale Council Tells Whites to Put Their Coats in Puddles so Black People Can 'Walk With Ease'

In our modern era, old-fashioned valiance is hard to find. But at an Ivy League institution, gallantry may soon rain.

Apropos of Black History Month, YouTuber Chrissy Clark recently spotlighted a Yale University email.

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The missive — reportedly obtained by the Daily Caller News Foundation — is addressed to “Yalies” and comes courtesy of the Yale College Council. For those uncertain of how to celebrate the season, the Council offers three surefire ways.

For one, the directive advises nonblack students to “support the many (local) Black-owned businesses.” A link takes readers to a list.

Secondly, it’s suggested that all races but black go to the back of the line:

When dining hall lines are long, politely step out of the way and let Black people pass you.

Lastly, a chivalrous show of respect is recommended.

According to WeatherSpark.com, the murkiest month in Yale’s hometown of New Haven, Connecticut is February — “on average, the sky is overcast or mostly cloudy 52 percent of the time.” The month averages seven days of rain, snow, or both.

Hence, paler people pining for participation in Black History Month have a premium opportunity. Yale’s cutting-edge edict tells paltrily-pigmented persons to go old-school:

If there’s a puddle on the sidewalk, gently slide your coat off and lay it on the ground so your Black friends can walk with ease.

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Such a move will assuredly make a statement. But perhaps whites, Asians, and Hispanics should pack polyethylene in order to conserve their clothing.

Impermeable acts of altruism will fantastically fit with the times; these are the days of racial reckoning:

Students Praise Cornell University’s Rock Climbing Course Designed for Nonwhites

‘Exhausted’ and Trauma-Torn TikTok Teacher Tells White People to Stop Making the World Unsafe

Science Journal Decries Racism in Geology, Claims Black People Are Too Scared to Hold Hammers

College Op-Ed Asks if White People Should Be Kicked out of Parties

State University Hosts Workshops to Help Nonwhites Survive ‘Racial Battle Fatigue’

Dreadlocked Professor Says White People Aren’t Allowed to Have His Hairdo

In the area of world improvement, Yale is doing its part:

Yale Requires Spring ’23 Students to Get New COVID Boosters

Yale Spends $1,000,000 to Fight the White Supremacy of Video Game Hair

Yale Avenges Slaves, Reverses Racism — by Paying for Black Students to Leave the State

It’s a pivotal era. And now when some Yale students pivot, they’ll possibly be stepping on other people’s attire. Hopefully, those drowning their jackets and plunging their parkas won’t immediately put them back on — the forecast for February 6th predicts 26 degrees. As for the 18th, 23 degrees allegedly waits.

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Will enrollees give fellow Yalies the shirts off their backs? That remains to be seen. But if they deem it dutiful, it shouldn’t be consigned to a month: What’s right is right, 365 days a year.

-ALEX

 

See more content from me:

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