NASA Asked to Help Search for... Wait, the Loch Ness Monster? Seriously?

This coming summer, a new search will begin--this one for a famous Scottish beast that has never been found, because it exists only in the minds of the credulous: The Loch Ness monster. But this time, there's a new wrinkle: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has been asked to assist.

NASA has been asked to help in a new search for the Loch Ness monster.
The Loch Ness Centre has urged the space agency to lend its expertise in a fresh hunt for the legendary creature.
Last year, one of the biggest searches of Loch Ness in the Highlands concluded with a hydrophone capturing loud underwater noises and several potential sightings.
The latest search will take place on the 90th anniversary of Sir Edward Mountain's expedition from 30 May to 2 June.
Since that first expedition in 1934, the Watchers of the Monster, there have been over 1,156 sightings recorded on the official Loch Ness monster register.

I'll take issue with that last sentence; there have not been any sightings of the Loch Ness monster, because there is no Loch Ness monster. NASA should (and, to be fair, likely will) save their time and the taxpayer's money and pass on this. This is, after all, a creature that doesn't exist, the most famous photo of which is a known fake.

Speaking as a biologist - one who specialized in field zoology, no less - I feel somewhat qualified to speak to this. There is just no way that a population of large animals, fitting the various descriptions of the Loch Ness beast, could exist, in a lake that has been surrounded by human habitations for centuries, without one having died and washed ashore--or even, for the last hundred years or so, having someone take a clear, non-grainy, undeniable photo of one.

Even more so now, when almost everyone carries a high-resolution camera on their person everywhere they go, and yet, nothing. No bodies, no photos, no witnessed, verified sightings: Nothing. All this applies even more so if the beast is supposedly predatory, as predators cover a lot of ground - or water - while searching for food, and would (one would think) be easier to spot than a herbivore that doesn't have to range as far to find food. Also, in most species, predators suffer appalling death rates among juveniles, and yet not one of those has been found, either.

That's because, like Bigfoot, like the Chupacabra, or the Yeti, or the Almas Giant, the Loch Ness monster doesn't exist.

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People, of course, are free to spend their own time and money tilting at this particular windmill. But leave NASA out of it, because this, like previous searches, will come up empty. Because there is no Loch Ness monster.

The Loch Ness Centre is located at the old Drumnadrochit Hotel, where it is said manageress Aldie Mackay reported seeing a "water beast" in Loch Ness 90 years ago.
General manager Paul Nixon said: "Last year, we captured the world's attention with one of the biggest-ever searches for Nessie, with participants joining us from America, Canada, France, Italy, Japan and more.

One of the biggest-ever searches, which did not result in any, you know, evidence. That's because there is no Loch Ness monster. It doesn't exist. It never existed. This search is a fool's errand, but as long as the people involved are paying for it themselves, they are free to engage in any fool's errand they like.

This seems appropriate.