In the midst of all of that, there was a visit from my sisters and brothers-in-law, who came over to try to help us out with some things. While they were here, my sisters surprised us with a small bird feeder, a 48" shepherd's hook, a garden flag, and some new cushions for the patio chairs. They did it with the thought in mind that the items would provide us some comfort.

Having previously had mixed experiences with bird feeders at my house and, quite frankly, not wanting the responsibility considering everything I had on my plate, I thanked them but told myself I wasn't sure how much attention I'd be able to devote to it. The reason was that in addition to having to say goodbye to Dad, my mom, who was 79 at the time, was also experiencing health issues that we hadn't yet gotten to the bottom of. 

When we did, four months later and after numerous doctors' appointments, we were shocked to find out it was Stage IIIB colon cancer. 

SEE ALSO -->> Caregiver's Diary Part 7: Learning to Rest in the Moment

So, not to sound cold, but even a simple bird feeder was not something I was prioritizing in the summer/fall/winter of 2022. For starters, the shepherd's hook was too short and allowed for squirrels to gobble up all the food before the birds had a chance to. Though Mom thought it was cute, I was not amused. I was being scroogey and grumbled about how much money was being wasted on food the birds weren't even getting a chance to eat.

Needless to say, the bird feeder didn't get a lot of attention for a while as mom started her chemo treatments in January of the following year, and my number one focus was her care and well-being while trying to push aside my feelings of being scared and overwhelmed. 

It was sometime during her treatments, however, that I decided to make time for the bird feeder. I knew it would make her happy and would help take her mind off of what she was going through - and perhaps help me a little, too, with a much-needed distraction.

So I did some research and found out that they make these things called "baffles" that help keep squirrels off of feeders (provided you place the feeders in areas where they can't easily be jumped on from - like near a tree branch or window sill).

After learning that, I got a tall shepherd's hook, a baffle, and a bigger feeder and set it up in place of the one my sisters had gotten.

It took a few days, but the birds slowly started coming to the feeder. Over the next several months, as I continued to feed them, the feeder was running out of food quicker and quicker. The birds were getting used to it.

So, after trial and error, I settled on a new mesh feeder that held over four pounds of food that I wouldn't have to fill up every other day. Plus, the fact that it was mesh helped the food air out after it rained so it wouldn't get moldy and potentially harmful to the birds.

As all of this was happening, I found myself more and more enjoying watching the cardinals, the chickadees, the woodpeckers, nuthatches, and blue birds. I didn't mind the squirrels so much, either, as they ate leftovers off the ground. Mom had lovingly nicknamed the cardinals "Mr. and Ms. C" and would often tell me that there was a "Mr. C" or "Ms. C" sighting that I needed to check out.

Before I knew it, I was so jealous of mom being able to see the cardinals and other birds out the back doors but not me (her recliner has a perfect view outside the double doors, while I can't see out the doors from mine) that I got a second shepherd's hook, baffle, and the same type of large feeder and put it near the window where I sat.

So now we have two big feeders and families of birds that come visiting every day. The cardinals are so abundant that there are multiple "couple" sightings we have nearly every day. It is so precious to watch the mama and papa cardinals do their little "beak-to-beak" exchanges on the shepherd's hooks. We've learned so much about them, including how the daddy cardinal takes a very active role in helping mom with taking care of the baby eggs and then the babies themselves once they hatch. 

I've gotten very protective over the birds as well, especially when the nuisance birds come calling and won't let the regulars get any food. The regulars are smart and seem to know my system now because when I open the back door to try and scare off the nuisance birds, the regular ones stick around and re-take their places on the feeders. It's beyond cute.

I had no idea back in June 2022 that I'd grow to love watching the birds every day, but I surely do. It's even worth it to go out and feed them in the heat of the summer and when something you don't want buzzing around your face decides to do just that!

It's pure joy to watch the smiles on mom's face and God's handiwork in action in the form of birds, especially the cardinals. As the old saying goes, when cardinals appear, angels are near. Or at least we like to believe that, anyway.

Update: By request, introducing Mr. C:

Photo of Mr. C at one of our bird feeders in late February. One of the best ones I've gotten. This is right after I filled up the feeder. He trusted me enough to come up to it even as I was fairly nearby. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/nTcOwnD3q8

— Sister Toldjah 💙 (@sistertoldjah) April 11, 2025

RELATED: To read my previous Caregiver's Diary entries, please click here.