Among the most enjoyable articles to write are those that almost write themselves. Whether preposterous, hilarious, or downright stoopid [sic], they’re a piece of cake. This one covers all of the above. Enjoy.

Ready?

South Fulton, Georgia, Mayor Khalid Kamau was arrested and charged with first-degree burglary and criminal trespass after entering a home that he says he thought was abandoned. (Yep, the first sentence raises an obvious question, but we’ll get there in a minute.)

Kamau was booked into the Fulton County Jail on Saturday and released the same day after posting $11,000 in bond. The police report, obtained by Channel 2 Action News, shows that the dispatcher received a call from a homeowner who said his phone alerted him that a person was on his lake house property shortly before 7 a.m. on Saturday.

After the homeowner got dressed, according to the police report, he went to the lake house and watched an unknown person walk up the driveway of his home toward the house. The owner then entered his lake house and encountered the person inside. The suspect attempted to leave the house, prompting the homeowner to order him not to move or leave the premises.

At that point, the “unknown person” — Mayor Kamau — lit up the homeowner like a Christmas tree while he was still on the phone with the dispatcher. The mayor angrily said:

Do you know who the f**k I am? I’m the mayor, and I’ll wait for my police to get here and see what happens then.

Yeah, bad move.

When officers arrived, according to the police report, Kamau said he was simply going to the dog park and decided to stop in and look at the home, which he claimed is his dream house and wants to buy. The mayor told Fox 5 Atlanta:

I just wanted to see the house. I do apologize to the owners. I thought it was abandoned.

OK, stop the tape.

So Mr. Kamau claimed he thought the house was abandoned, yet he was charged with first-degree burglary. Does that make any sense at all? (No.) If the house was abandoned, what was left to steal? Or, if there were contents in the home, why did Kamau allegedly attempt to steal them? Enquiring [sic] minds want to know.

After Kamau posted bail and was leaving the jail, he thanked the department for the way he was treated.

I do want to thank South Fulton Police and the staff and officers at Rice Street for courteous and professional service throughout the day today.

The city, obviously in an embarrassing situation given its own mayor was charged with criminal trespass and first-degree burglary, said in a statement:

The city of South Fulton is committed to upholding the law and ensuring that all individuals, regardless of their position, are subject to the same fair and just treatment. As the investigation is still ongoing, we are unable to provide further details at this time.

Did I mention that Kamau’s biography on the South Fulton website states that he’s a “Christian Socialist” and “America’s first #BlackLivesMatter organizer elected to public office”? Not that it has any bearing on the charges filed against the mayor or anything.

America’s first #BlackLivesMatter organizer elected to public office, Mayor khalid (pronounced cuh-LEED) is leading a generation of young activists from protests to politics. This self-proclaimed Elected Activist has been featured by CBS, The Nation, Jacobin, Governing Magazine and other national media.

With a population that is 92 percent African-American, South Fulton, Georgia is now the blackest big city in America. khalid is [on] a mission to make America’s Blackest City Black.  On Purpose — which means a city that is not just unapologetic about its demographics, but moving on purpose to be a laboratory for economic, housing and restorative justice policies aimed at improving the lives of African Americans.

Yes, terribly written.

Anyway, let’s just call Mayor Khalid Kamau’s biography “background information,” shall we?