Every time another ridiculous story pops up about the latest “woke” pronouns, I tell myself I’m not going to write about it. Most of those times I’m able to refrain. This was not one of those times. Truth be told, I was unable to stop myself. Nor did I want to. Why not, you ask, perhaps puzzled? Because this one is insane.

So here’s the thing. Staff members at the University of Bristol in England are encouraged to use preferred personal pronouns when interacting with students or fellow staff. To that end, according to a recent report from the U.K.’s Telegraph, the university is providing staff guidance on how to properly use pronouns at work. You know — “woke” style. Nice, personal touch, right? Not even close.

We’re talking “neopronouns” like “emojiself” and “catgender.” And worse.

Bristol University has been ridiculed for encouraging staff to use a gender pronoun guide which included “catgender” for people who identify as cats, and “emojiself” for people who identify with emojis.#gripthttps://t.co/vvrUzTKMCD

— gript (@griptmedia) February 14, 2022

I told you it was insane.

Before we continue, ridiculously concocted “neopronouns” are a category of new (neo) pronouns that are increasingly used in place of “she,” “he,” or “they” when referring to a person — by preferred “identification,” of course. Examples include: xe/xem/xyr, ze/hir/hirs, and ey/em/eir. Note: They forgot e-i-e-i-o, but I’m sure it’ll be the next big thing.

Here’s the worst part:

Individuals who opt for “catgender,” notes the Telegraph, may use personal pronouns “nya” or “nyan,” which is a Japanese word for… wait for it… “meow.”

And I get paid to write this stuff. Is this a great country, or what?

Then we have “emojiself” pronouns, defined as “a form of gender-neutral neopronouns.”

They are similar to nounself pronouns but instead of using letters they use emojis or other pictograms. They might be used for a number of reasons, such as one liking the way the emoji looks, liking the way they may sound in their head, or because one feels the emoji describe them or reflect something about their gender well.

Staff is encouraged to avoid becoming defensive (or, no doubt, confused as hell) if they make a mistake in using or misusing someone’s preferred personal pronoun. From the guide, as transcribed by the Telegraph:

It is important not to become defensive or make a big deal out of it. Simply thank the person for correcting you, apologize swiftly, and use the correct pronouns going forward.

Then go lock yourself in a closet and scream — until you get that crap out of your head.

BTW, emojiself? Ain’t that something? Who’d a thunk the left-wing loon-o-sphere would support reducing an independent thinking human being to an emoji? Wait—

Incidentally, as reported Newsweek, Bristol University has removed the guide’s link following an immense amount of ridicule — every bit of which, it richly deserved.

We have a guide on our website which is designed to help people understand the different variations and nuances that this covers. This linked to an external LGBTA Wiki page with further information, which in turn links to a separate page on catgender.

These external links are not official university guidance and we are disappointed that it has been reported as such. With this in mind, we have now removed this link and apologise sic] for the confusion caused.

Uh-huh. Or, after the crap hit the pronoun fan.

The University of Bristol did what — ahem — “institutes of higher learning” always do when they got caught with their neopronoun pants down: It lied.

Related on RedState:

More ‘Inclusive’ Air Force, Space Force Now Allow Usage of Gender Pronouns in Electronic Signatures

You’ll Be Graded on Wokeness: Professor Forces Students to Put Their Pronouns on Assignments

Loudoun County Teacher Suspended for Refusing to Bend the Knee to Gender Pronouns in Classroom