Welp, that oughta fix things! Fix things right up, it will. Hapless Los Angeles Democrat Mayor Eric Garcetti has announced that, due to the continuing COVID “pandemic,” the City of Angels is now running a Blue Light Special on parking tickets! Twenty percent off the regular price! That’s right, Angelenos; get ’em while they’re hot!

As reported by CBS News in Los Angeles, Garcetti on Friday announced the “Early Pay L.A.” program for drivers to receive a $20 discount on certain traffic citations, if they are paid within 48 hours. The program begins on Monday and runs through June 2021.

“My administration will continue to do everything possible to support Angelenos through the unprecedented challenges we face. COVID-19 has dealt a devastating blow to Angelenos’ financial security, and these funds will provide essential relief to our residents during this moment of economic upheaval.”

Reads like it’s from The Babylon Bee, right?

We're delivering assistance to Angelenos facing economic hardship during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Starting Monday, with our new Early Pay LA program, @LADOTOfficial will offer a $20 discount on parking citations paid within 48 hours. https://t.co/jqG5kxudvi

— MayorOfLA (@MayorOfLA) October 31, 2020

And why is your mayor on it, Los Angeles? Because he cares about you. Los Angeles Department of Transportation General Manager Seleta Reynolds summed it up, perfectly.

“In moments of crisis, we need to do all we can to support Angelenos while maintaining parking regulations that keep our streets safe and protect the quality of life of our neighborhoods. Early Pay L.A. is one of several programs LADOT uses to reduce the financial burden of parking citations for our most vulnerable.”

Call me skeptical, but aren’t your “most vulnerable” the ever-growing number of homeless people your “progressive” Democrat mayor and “progressive” City Council allow to live on your streets, with no hope in sight?

New York Magazine and HuffPost contributor Yashar Ali summed up his thoughts on Garcetti’s “ticket sale” with a strongly-worded five-word question.

Is this a fucking joke? https://t.co/bn9GeeX3WJ

— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) October 31, 2020

Zito thought the whole thing was “hilarious.” Probably because it is.

This is hilarious. A $20 discount on tickets as pandemic relief. https://t.co/6tez15H3BR

— Zito (@_Zeets) October 31, 2020

Brittany Van Horne thought Garcetti’s announcement might be satire (wink-wink) à la The Babylon Bee.

Really good satire of Democrats from this LA comedian https://t.co/OmNel1j2M1

— Brittany Van Horne (@_brittanyv) October 31, 2020

Freelance writer “beguiling bug” suggested that if Garcetti really thinks parking tickets are the answer to relieving the “financial burden” from L.A.’s “most vulnerable,” how about the city not enforce parking tickets, period?

beyond parody. TWENTY DOLLARS OFF PARKING TICKETS is the best COVID relief our government can come up with after they chose to enforce parking tickets https://t.co/cxKf0WV0yQ

— beguiling bug (@runolgarun) October 31, 2020

This Twitter user suggested that maybe a “coupon day” would be a good idea.

“but how will the poors pay their $75+ street sweep tickets during the pandemic”

“idk we’ll have a coupon day or something” pic.twitter.com/IHz6la6kX7

— calgon take me away 🛸 (@aimforthethroat) October 31, 2020

This guy saw a parallel with a tone-deaf Marriott effort to “honor” the victims of 9/11.

Getting some real “complimentary mini muffins in remembrance of 9/11” vibes from this. pic.twitter.com/uI6mzOWcpq

— Joe Veyera (@JoeVeyera) October 31, 2020

Reporter for The Nation, Ken Klippenstein was one of several who shared this analogy.

pic.twitter.com/f8AIUNExDW

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) October 31, 2020

Zach Harper, who covers the NBA for the Athletic, thought Garcetti locked up the Nobel Prize.

Hey @NobelPrize, you’re all set https://t.co/2nBQi7NHpL

— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) October 31, 2020

Finally, writer Heidi Moore’s tweet was my favorite. “Eric Garcetti heard that Bill de Blasio was the worst mayor in the country and said, ‘challenge accepted,'” she wrote.

Eric Garcetti heard that Bill de Blasio was the worst mayor in the country and said, "challenge accepted." https://t.co/q6cyhm7kBS

— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) October 31, 2020

Speaking of Comrade Big Bird, the hapless mayor of New York City must be laughing his butt off at Garcetti, thinking to himself, “Not even I would try to pull that off!” Except he would have, if he had thought of it first.

In other Not-So-Golden State news, check out my RedState colleague Jennifer Oliver O’Connell’s article from earlier today, titled Gov. Gavin Newsom’s Kids Get in-Person Learning; All Your Kids Get Is Zoom.

H’T ~ Twitchy