One of the things that really chaps my butt about the Alternative Right is their tendency to talk about how wonderful it would be if we could have a good, authoritarian in charge over here like Vladimir Putin. If Putin ever decided to take up an acting career slightly off of Sunset Blvd; over in The San Fernando Valley, he’d certainly be accompanied by his emotionally caring sidekick Patrick J. Buchanan. Buchanan’s nickname would undoubtedly soon be “Fluffy.” What these idiots don’t realize is that we’ve already reelected just exactly this type of domineering authoritarian. Shepard Fairey has even given us the appropriately Stalinist iconography.

Now of course you can’t have a good, effective fascism without an angry, impoverished class-hating army of Sturmabteilung. In Russia, we have the Nashi* which distributes nationalistic Pro-Putin propaganda. The video atop the post is an example of Nashi at work. The New York Observer describes the organization below.

This cocky video represents a new warfare that has been waged by the hundreds of thousands of Putin Youths (only one of the organizations – Nashi (name stands for ‘Our Own’) – claims to have more than 100,000 members). They are educated, talented and fiercely nationalistic. And they hate their enemies from outside and within with all their hearts. The message of this video is directed not only to the Russians, but to the entire world because this ‘Putin’s speech’ is captioned in English. And the message is – in 2015 Russia is going to win.

In America, our increasingly authoritarian president has to proceed with a little more caution. He can’t just blatantly recruit thugs, he has to community organize. His clumsy initial efforts to indoctrinate school children in a manner reminiscent of the Kim Dynasty in North Korea drew severe public backlash. He soon developed a series of pretexts to intimidate opponents. Occupy Wall Street parked mobs outside of citizens’ homes – in the name of social justice; so it was different! Organizing For America broke every election law our republic has on the books – in the name of Progress.

President Obama’s latest Ernst Rohm, the “Reverend” Al Sharpton**, now heads an organization called The National Action Network which specializes in shaking down businesses for money and organizing street riots. The invasion of so-called “White Spaces” is particularly reminiscent of the thug-like disruption of civil life in Weimar Republic Germany during the early 1930s.

So if Patrick J. Buchanan loves the authoritarian man-hunks like Vladimir Putin, what could he possibly dislike about Barack Obama? It certainly couldn’t be the lack of desire for executive authority. Buchanan and the rest of the “Alternative Right” should just confess. Barack Obama is the one they were waiting for. He can get away with blatant fascist thug life, and if you call him on, you’re a !RACIST! What could a budding Neo-Nazi possibly disrespect about Occupy Wall Street or Al Sharpton’s National Action network?

*-Ironic resemblance to the Nazi Party of WWII Germany is coincidental. Nashi is Russian for “Our Own.”

**-If you disbelieve my comparison of the “Reverend” to Herr Rohm, reference Al Sharpton’s prior statements regarding the “Diamond Merchants” in Shaker Heights.