To me, it's akin to receiving well-meaning yet unnecessary advice. Like being told to "create stability," which sounds the same as platitudes of  "just try to be successful," "save money," or "try not to age." Obviously, we're all aiming to do that. Just like we are all trying to create happy domestic and familial lives. 

Did anyone think that, as women, we didn't get our fill of Disney Princess movies and Barbie dolls growing up? Did they believe we were only recently properly introduced to idealism by conservative PACs and podcasting men? You would think these guys invented heterosexual couples and that we women have never heard about marriage nor considered it, by the way they harp on it. 

The expectation to find a loving partner who treats you well and you settle down by your early 20s feels like an incredibly tall order. Have they met college-aged guys? They seem more interested in partying than permanence. 

But I digress. 

While some people do achieve their dreams on schedule, many face unexpected challenges. I've witnessed numerous instances where life's twists derailed the idealism we were taught to uphold. 

Prince Charming didn't end up with an addiction, resorting to theft to feed it. Ken didn't perish in a car crash while cruising in the Barbie convertible. Even "The Brady Bunch" was ahead of its time by comparison, with its blended family dynamics, a concept more modern than today's espoused ultra-conservative doctrines.

But we don't need the lessons of Marcia and Jan Brady to challenge today's traditionalist teachings, we have real-life instances that run contrary to this idealism, like the emergence of a video of one of the manosphere figures berating his pregnant wife. Conservatives often overlook such examples and continue preaching idealism as if nothing happened. 

But, have they ever delved into discussions about power imbalances and that controlling behavior is a form of abuse? Do the red-pilled podcasters talk about healthy boundaries and communication strategies to help young couples? Do they ever talk to women about red flags or what to do in situations where they are not safe? 

Not really. It's often just about getting married young, having kids fast, and maybe baking some moral bread along the way. Not relationship advice for young couples. 

I told you they were equating baking bread to being a moral and valuable woman.

— BrutalBrittany💕 (@BrutalBrittany2) April 13, 2024

What is being advised is that the woman is supposed to be "submissive." Unfortunately, this is better defined in pornography than in the context of a relationship. Does it mean that women can never win an argument? Or that a man has a trump card, to command instantaneous respect, like a drill sergeant? Does that negate the concept of all autonomy? I may never know... 

And, if men are meant to be protectors, what exactly are they protecting women from? Stray dogs? No, it's stray men. So, along the lines of safety for women, don't push your daughters into men's arms. Men in pursuit of women should be met with protective skepticism, not a rush to marry them off. What century are we in? 

I've noticed the standards for women. Remember Calendargate? What a mess. Don't dress provocatively. Avoid tattoos. Don't prioritize a career. Bake! I must have missed the "don't berate your pregnant wife" memo from the do-gooders.

Frankly, I'm sick of the pro-life crowd's ironic insinuations against single motherhood, too. Or, single parenthood, for that matter. The point isn't supposed to be pro-life when it's easy. It's pro-life, against all odds. It's life, even if your pregnancy is untimely and socially unacceptable. And, even if you know your relationship is not going to last. 

Some of the most exceptional mothers are those who didn't have the luxury of staying home baking sourdough, an activity now used as virtue-signal of morality under ultra-conservatism. Single moms are the ones who fought through adversity, not to be judged by how many cards fell in their favor, but by their determination.

Similarly, human worth cannot be tied to another person's desires. The idea that my value is based on what men can extract from me, especially physically, is not only a false notion but a particularly repulsive one. The pro-life stance inherently values human life. So, stop reducing women to checkboxes, we're already valuable humans. 

Regardless of any leverageable attributes to weigh and barter myself into a permanent residency with some person... I've come to realize that Disney and Barbie's idealism was a scam, and that Prince Charming probably got eaten by a dragon before he reached my house, or whatever.  Or, maybe his horse broke a leg. Either way, it's quite tragic and a bad bill of goods in many ways, along with the version peddled by ultra-conservatism. 

If we want Republican women to not feel alienated and pushed from the GOP and conservatism, we need to speak to them like they are adults in the 21st Century, and like they have the wisdom and experiences of those we respect. We need to get serious about how we address the complexities and challenges of life, rather than prescribing rigid and unrealistic ideals that do not reflect the realities of the human experience.

Women contribute significantly to conservatism and the GOP, but it's crucial to recognize that many of us have outgrown the repackaged idealism of our childhood; as we evolve, our shifting perspectives lead to greater authenticity and personal fulfillment.

We need to empower women to make choices that align with their values, circumstances, and best interests. We need to stop pretending freedom and autonomy are not good concepts when applied to women. We need to acknowledge that strength comes in many forms, and it is not defined by adherence to perfectionism as a societal norm. 

Ultimately, we must recognize that every individual's journey is unique, and we should support each other with the compassion and insights gained from lived experience, rather than imposing narrow definitions of success, worth, or happiness.