Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest exemplars of journalistic mis-excellence.

Distinguished Investigative Journalism

• Jeff Cercone — PolitiFact

The fog of war is something of a nightmare for fact-checkers. When both sides of a conflict are issuing psy-ops and other mission-centric misinformation, there is a growing challenge to wade through intentional misleading intel. It is important to filter out the lies during wartime propaganda, but we are confident that it is not important to clarify that actor Steven Segal is not fighting alongside Russian troops in Ukraine.

Podcaster Joe Rogan on Facebook posted, then deleted, a fake CNN story that said actor Steven Seagal was spotted among Russian special forces in Ukraine. Seagal was once banned from Ukraine, but the 69-year-old is no soldier. https://t.co/wCdxf1pZWN

— PolitiFact (@PolitiFact) February 28, 2022

Distinguished National Reporting

• Joy Reid — MSNBC

The hostess of the MSNBC program The Reid Out makes a surprising revelation. After years of the media harping on “The Handmaid’s Tale” you would think at some point Joy Reid would have actually consumed some of the offerings. Whether it would be reading the book, sitting down for the film, or binging the seasons on Hulu, there has been ample time to grasp the concept.

But Reid shows her unfamiliarity with the source material, as she attempts to impugn the state of Florida but describes a version of the plotline that does not exactly fit. You see, Joy, you cannot present the concept of forced female repression and cloaked women locked up by males by suggesting the setting is more like a Hedonism Resort.

Florida at this point is basically Gilead with palm trees and bikinis. Wake up, people.

— Joy-Ann (Pro-Democracy) Reid 😷 (@JoyAnnReid) March 14, 2022

Distinguished Sports Reporting

• Scott Hansen — NFL Network

Big football news came out this weekend when Tom Brady announced that he was not in fact retiring, and would instead return to Tampa Bay for his 23rd season. There were mixed reactions across the football fanbase, but possibly the loudest opponent was the individual who had recently won the right to own what had previously been Tom Brady’s last touchdown football.

Making it worse is the auction took place just one day ahead of Brady’s announcement. At Leland’s Sports Auctions someone dropped $518,000 on the ball that now will be regarded as little more than a trivia answer unless Brady blows out his knee on the opening drive of the season.

How’d ya like to be the guy who just bought Brady’s “last NFL TD ball” at auction for $500,000?!?

— Scott Hanson (@ScottHanson) March 13, 2022

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

• Matt Keeley — Newsweek

Look, we understand there might be the occasional slow news day – but with a war raging, inflation surging, gas prices spiking, our border leaking, AND TOM BRADY UNRETIRING…there is plenty of content. That’s why it is a bit of a mystery why Newsweek is covering some activity regarding the stage play “Rent.” We hear how during a performance, a possible hate crime took place.

The theater company released a statement about a ‘Horrible Incident’ at one of its shows, sounding close to being a case of severe intolerance. Then we learn the details. This took place in England, and during one performance an audience member walked out when they realized the show centered on gay characters. One — person. This is news.

Theatergoer walked out of "Rent" because the "show was about gays" https://t.co/NUiMgQVNM0

— Newsweek (@Newsweek) March 14, 2022

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

• Sam Tonkin — The Daily Mail

You have a grabber of a story anytime you report on an asteroid striking Earth. It is relatively assured however that many will stop reading and get distracted trying to unravel your curious choice of comparative measurement. It is not known how many missed the details of the recent supernal event around Iceland because they had been too distracted by describing the asteroid as being half the size of a giraffe.

Asteroid half the size of a giraffe strikes Earth off the coast of Iceland https://t.co/x72diJ7q5Q

— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) March 14, 2022

Distinguished Feature Writing 

• Maya Yang — The Guardian

Joe Biden has been given the honor of having a new prehistoric species named after him. A researcher analyzing stored away fossils came across the discovery of a previously undiscovered sea creature. Dubbed Syllipsimopodi bideni It is a ten-armed vampire squid.  Seems fitting that Biden would have his name lent to a spineless creature, amirite??

Joe Biden is a fossil: 328m-year-old vampire squid named after president https://t.co/6tQFn0dWhE

— Guardian news (@guardiannews) March 9, 2022

Distinguished International Reporting

• Samantha Bartlett — Daily Star

With St. Patrick’s Day just about here, it is understandable that features would arrive about the festivities. And hey, you are sure to get some clickbait action by centering coverage on starlets who are dressing for the occasion, more so if you find some adult entertainment figures doing so. It just strikes as being rather un-newslike if you declare it unique that a porn actress will be doing so without her undergarments.

Porn star Maitland Ward ditches bra as she prepares racy St Patrick's Day outfithttps://t.co/wFzjBex502 pic.twitter.com/iXI6NMHmVk

— Daily Star (@dailystar) March 10, 2022