Do you wish for whoopee with a wok? Do you pine for perversion with a pot? Do you dream of making steam with a skillet? That is to say, are you pansexual? Actually, that's not the meaning of the word. But if you think it is, chances are you're perniciously privileged.

Not to worry -- a college seminar can help you with that. The University of Texas at Austin is home to a workshop that makes students man up to their "monosexual privilege." 

If you're unsure whether you have mono, here's ChoosingTherapy.com:

Monosexual is a term used to describe individuals exclusively attracted to one gender or sex. This means they experience sexual and/or romantic attraction to individuals of one gender or sex while not experiencing attraction to individuals of other genders or sexes.

In an interview with Psychology Today, Los Angeles Dr. Mimi Hoang adds insight:

"Non-monosexual would be anyone who is not included in that group — those who are bisexual, pansexual, fluid, and queer spectrum. We (therapists) came up with [the term  "monosexual"] to shift that paradigm: You can have monosexual or non-monosexual attraction."

The good doctor delineates between bi- and pan-:

"Bisexual is the potential to be attracted sexually and romantically to people of more than one sex or gender — the biological sex that was assigned to you at birth — and gender meaning gender identity; not necessarily at the same time for these attractions, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.

"Pansexual is attraction to all sexes and genders; it also is defined as attraction regardless of sex or gender; the person is attracted to some other kind of trait outside the gender category. For example, they could be attracted to artistic people or comic book lovers."

If you're pan- or bi-, apparently, you're pitifully oppressed. Hence, a UT-Austin advocacy extravaganza. The school's Gender and Sexuality Center page promotes the "Affirming LGBTQIA+ People: Interpersonal Allyship" workshop. A downloadable worksheet laments the "Daily Effects of Monosexual Privilege." 

Qualifying individuals, admit your unearned advantage:

As a heterosexual, gay, or lesbian (monosexual) person, I can usually assume that:

• Society assures me that my sexual identity is real and that people like me exist.

• When I disclose my sexual identity to others, they believe it without requiring me to prove it.

• I am considered to have more authority in defining and judging bisexuality and pansexuality than people who identify as bisexual and/or pansexual.

• I can be confident that people will not rename my sexual identity or use different words to describe my identity than I do.

• When seen with a partner I'm dating, I can be certain I will be recognized as a member of my sexual-identity group by members of my community.

• If I choose to enter a monogamous relationship, my friends, community, or my partner will continue to accept my sexual identity, without expecting or pressuring me to change it.

• I have access to information about the prevalence of STIs in my community as well as prevention methods that are suitable for me.

• I can choose to be in a polyamorous relationship without being accused of reinforcing stereotypes against my sexual-identity group.


A few more, including the revelation that non-monosexuals appear nowhere in media:

• I can fairly easily find representations of people of my sexual-identity group and my lifestyle in the media.

• If I encounter a fictional, historical or famous figure of my sexual identity, I can be reasonably sure that they will be named as such in the text or by the media, reviewers and audience.

• I can find, fairly easily, reading material, institutions, media representations, etc. which give attention specifically to people of my sexual identity.

• I am far less likely than bisexual, pansexual, and fluid people to suffer from intimate partner violence and sexual violence.

• I am less likely than bisexual, pansexual, and fluid people to suffer from depression or to contemplate suicide.

• I am less likely than bisexual, pansexual, and fluid people to experience poverty.

• I am less likely than bisexual, pansexual, and fluid people to risk my health by avoiding medical treatment.


Privilege is a pest, and wokeness is the exterminator:

University's Required Training Labels Straight White Males 'Oppressors' — in the Name of Being 'Inclusive'

Seattle Tells Its White Teachers to 'Bankrupt' Their Privilege and Acknowledge Their 'Thieved Inheritance'

Professor Tells White Student if He's Breathing, He 'May Have Oppressed Somebody' Today

University Has White Students Confess Their Privileges, Such as Not Being Vilified Due to Their Race

Home Depot Tells Its Staff They're White-Privileged Oppressors and Marginalized Victims

'You Are Racist': Online Images Reveal San Diego's White-Privilege Wringing of Teachers

Who needs mono when you can make beautiful music together in stereo?...

New York Democrat Pushes for Sex Ed That Would School 11-Year-Olds in Pansexuality and Anal Sex

Nebraska Eyes Teaching Kindergarteners Gender Identity While Eleven-Year-Olds Study Pansexuality and Demigenderism

California Public Ed Teacher Training Includes Pansexuality and a Semen Exercise

Three's Company: Modern Sexual Identity Advances to 'Trigender'

Wokedom's Newest Confection Takes the Cake: Introducing 'Cake Gender'

Billy Sings the Blues: A Polyamorous Lover Waxes on the Difficulties of Quarantine With His Girlfriend and Her Boyfriend

Madly-in-Love Man Marries a Hologram, but Their Tale Turns Terminal as the Service Provider Pulls the Plug

The Affirming LGBTQIA+ People seminar is a two-parter. It was held earlier this month, but it's sure to come again -- UT-Austin is dedicated to fixing old-fashioned flukes. Other conferences advertised:

• Affirming LGBTQIA+ Students & Colleagues
• Identifying and Interrupting Sexism in Classrooms and Workplaces (Staff/Faculty Only)
• Working Towards Gender Justice (Student Only)
• What Do Thriving Queer Communities Look Like?, Presented by Peers for Pride
• Bi and Beyond: Talking about Fluid Sexuality Identities
• From Allyship to Advocacy: Supporting Transgender Communities
• Histories of & Accountability to Trans Feminisms
• Intersectionality & Allyship

For tens of thousands of years, heterosexuality was all the rage. Likewise for binary sex sealed at birth. But these days, every option is on the table. You may have been born female, but that isn't to say you aren't a man or a minotaur. And no matter, you might prefer petting women with penises or groping guys who become birthing persons. The sky's the limit, so long as you don't get pummeled by Planet Earth's privileged. Via industry and academia, the world is trying to guarantee you're golden. Powers That Be have pledged themselves to ensure your pansexuality positively pans out. 

-ALEX

See more content from me:

Why the Long Face: Woke University Cancels Robert E. Lee's Horse

University Club Claims 'Men Can’t Be Women,' School Sentences Them to an LGBT Re-Education Class

State University's Welcome Bundle Beckons Freshmen to Have Group Sex

Find all my RedState work here.

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