This is it. It’s finally here. Super Bowl Sunday: literally the most important day in the history of life, the universe, and everything. The New England Patriots, forged in the fires of Mount Doom, depart Mordor to face off against the New York (New Jersey) Giants, a team constructed out of the remains of a UFO that crashed in 1936. This is Tom Brady versus Eli Manning people. It’s like clash of the titans, if the titans were two guys who play football and clash for money, and not ancient Greek deities, who clashed because there really wasn’t much else to do back then, what with the total lack of football and twitter. (Also not to be confused with the Tennessee Titans, who clash mainly for whiskey and terbacky.) As Barney Stinson would say, it’s going to be legen – wait for it – …

What will happen in this 2008 (2007 season) replay? Can Victor Cruz handle the pressure? Will Belichick come up with the zaniest play ever? Will Madonna have a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show? I don’t know the answers, but I’m sure I speak for all of mankind when I say “sweet jumping Jehoshaphat I hope not” in answer to the last.

The greatest spectacle in sports (and advertising) kicks off at 6:30PM EST, following a mere, and surely inadequate, five hours of pregame. This is an open thread, so feel free to post your predictions, pick your players, or do even more things that start with the letter P.

For my part, I’ll just add that every time Tom Brady gets a Super Bowl ring, an angel gets eaten by a bear. Go Giants!

Oh yeah … DARY!