Alaska Man Monday - One Dumb Crook and One Big Race

Spring is coming! We can always tell when we’re nearing the spring equinox here, as the midday sun rises at last above the level of the top branches of the birch trees on the south end of the property. And as I write these words, another sign of spring – the bush pilots are out in increasing numbers, and one chucklehead just went over so low I’m sure he was dragging his landing gear through the treetops. That’s illegal, but this is Alaska, so…

We haven’t seen a dumb crook worth noting in a while, but here’s one providing a valuable lesson we shouldn’t have thought necessary – don’t hunt from an airplane. It caught up with this guy, and now he’ll be paying for it.

On August 31, 2024, Alaska Wildlife Troopers in Fairbanks received a report from of a hunter using an airplane to scout sheep near Lime Peak in the White Mountains. Investigation revealed Taylor Hulslander of North Pole utilized his 1975 Piper PA-18-150 to locate sheep on the evening of August 26, 2024 near Lime Peak in the White Mountains. Hulslander made multiple passes over a full-curl Dall sheep which he then harvested the morning of August 27, 2024. Regulation prohibits the use of aircraft to locate sheep for hunting purposes, August 10 - September 20. Hulslander has a hearing date of 25 March 2025 in Fairbanks.

This kind of crap angers honest sportsmen like me to no end. This is a serious violation of the principle of fair chase. This goober should lose his hunting license for good.

Alaska Man score: Nil. I award you no moose nuggets, and may God have mercy on your soul.

At least they weren’t elephants: Belaboring the Obvious: CO Supreme Court Rules Elephants Aren't Human, Cannot Sue

The Iditarod, now ongoing, is running into some problems even after their Fairbanks start – including, of all things, a sandstorm.

Yes, really.

Iditarod Sled Dog Race teams at the head of the pack were wrapping up their mandatory 24-hour breaks at checkpoints along the trail Friday, including the one in this Interior community.
Mushers at the Galena checkpoint, almost 400 miles into the trail, were visibly weary, with dark circles under their eyes and a shuffling gait. In the early hours of the morning, they listlessly filed through the checkpoint’s coffee station before heading out into the cold to begin their dog chores.

About that sandstorm:

Gabe Dunham, who's competing in her third Iditarod, said she trains hard in the off-season for the long, sleepless race nights. She’s well-equipped to fight off the exhaustion, having packed out heaps of Safeway buffet food to keep herself comfortable and energized.
But this week, a sandstorm on an earlier section of trail was no comfort to her tired eyes. A strong wind kicked up the silt on the surface of melting Tanana riverbeds, blowing it straight into her and her dogs’ faces.
“You could see this wall of wind and sand — it just looked like a dark cloud, really,” she said. “So, we stopped outside of it, and I pulled my parka out, even though it was like 35 above, and I put that on just for wind protection. The dogs handled it remarkably well.”

Those are some tough dogs – and some tough people. The Iditarod is a big deal here. It attracts a lot of tourist dollars to the state, and Alaska’s tourism industry is a big part of the economy. Plus, we all watch it – which you can do here. It’s an Alaskan tradition, although this year it’s a little more difficult than normal, as was the Iron Dog before it. Weird year.

Alaska Man score: 5 moose nuggets for sticking it out.

Now then, some more thoughts on the speech the other night. Which speech? You know which speech.

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