Alaska Man Monday - Spelling, Swan Diving and Safety

It’s been a weird week in the Great Land, with mostly good stuff to tell all you folks in the Lower 48 – including an egregious brag on my part about some Alaskan youths, and the obligatory shot at a dumb crook. So let’s get started!

Alaskan kids can spell!

I wasn’t even aware that spelling bees were still a thing, but I’m glad to see that they are. If you look at so many posts on the various social media platforms, it’s easy to be discouraged about the written communication skills of today’s youths (and not just the youths) given the rampant mistakes in not only spelling but also in grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. Apostrophe abuse, in particular, is a constant annoyance for those of us older folks who went to school when they still taught us how to diagram a sentence.

But good for these kids! Let’s hope they do well at Nationals.

Alaska Man Score: 5 moose nuggets. There’s no downside to academic achievement - anywhere, not just here.

Then there’s this guy:

Swan diving onto a tent.

On May 24th, 2024, at approximately 2317 hours, the Alaska State Troopers responded to a disturbance on the Old Glenn Highway. Investigation revealed, Marlene Nakarak, age 36 of Anchorage, intentionally damaged her significant other's property by swan diving onto his tent. Marlene was arrested and remanded at MSPT where she is being held without bail pending arraignment.

Alaska Man Score: 3.25 of 5 moose nuggets. Points for being entertaining and for style – I mean, a swan dive? Demerits for damaging another’s property and being, well, stupid.

Finally, this can only be a good thing:

More money for gun safety training!

The Matanuska-Susitna Borough Assembly recently passed a grant that would allow residents the opportunity to access free or reduced-cost gun safety training.

District 7 Assemblyman Ron Bernier introduced the grant a few weeks ago as part of the borough’s 2025 operating budget. It was approved by a 5-2 vote:

“Ever since I got elected, Trapper Creek, Talkeetna, the further out places, you know, they wanted trooper’s response time to be quicker,” Brenier said. “They’ve wanted a trooper actually stationed out there and stuff. And, unfortunately, we don’t have the manpower to actually do that.”
According to the Alaska State Troopers, the area that covers the Mat-Su and Glennallen is larger than the state of Arkansas. Forty-four positions are dedicated to protecting and serving that area, but there are currently 13 vacancies.

As Mr. Bernier also points out:

“Last year, we had a couple of fatalities in Trapper Creek, a couple of ladies got murdered up there,” he said.
“I just figured that everybody — instead of waiting on the troopers — they should be coming together as a community and trying to work together to protect themselves and the security of their neighbors,” he continued. “Whether it’s neighborhood watch or something bigger.”

Alaska, like any other place, has some bad guys. Unlike a lot of places, law enforcement up here is often very thin on the ground; the cities, Wasilla, Palmer, and so on, have their town cops, but the boroughs, which take the place of counties in the Great Land, have no law enforcement, leaving the Alaska State Police as the only authorities. As you will have noted, there are currently 31 officers covering an area the size of the state of Arkansas. We are expected to be able to look after ourselves, and it’s good that our Borough assembly recognizes that need. Some other jurisdictions may be coming around, as well.

Alaska Man Score: 5 moose nuggets. Self-defense is a human right, and it’s good that our Borough recognizes that.

Now, some thoughts on dangerous critters.