This just in: Walruses are big. Really, really big. A big male of the Atlantic version can weigh a ton (a real ton, not a commie metric ton) while the largest Pacific walruses (or would that be walrii?) have been known to weigh over two tons. The bulls can be combative and territorial, and yes, they use those huge tusks as weapons. They are basically whales that can climb out onto the beach and have two swords sticking out of their faces.

Knowing all that, why would anyone try to approach one of these monsters? But, last month, in Norway, that's what happened. It's not clear what day of the week this happened on, although it may have been toothday.

A tourist has been fined NOK 12,500 Norwegian Kroner (£900) for approaching a walrus in the Norwegian archipelago of Svalbard.

The authorities said the man went out onto an ice floe on Wednesday and "disturbed a walrus that was lying on the ice".    

They said members of the public saw him approach the mammal and reported him to the local governor, and that "parts of the incident were also observed by the governor's employees".

There is a law in Svalbard which stipulates people must conduct themselves in a way which does not lead to unnecessary disturbance of wildlife.

The man is lucky the walrus didn't disturb him right back. It's just as well that the unnamed "members of the public" as well as the local governor were up to the tusk of intercepting this guy before he got perforated or just squashed flat. Walruses are known to sun themselves on ice floes and are best observed from a distance; they generally aren't found ashore on rainy days, as they take care not to walrust.

It's unknown if alcohol was involved in this incident, which has been known to be the case in other incidents of people being stupid around large animals.

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The governor's office weighed in on the incident:

"The governor encourages everyone to keep a good distance from walruses so that they are not disturbed and so that no danger to people occur," his office said in a statement.

Walruses were hunted practically to extinction in the Svalbard Archipelago up until they were protected by law in 1952, according to the government's Norwegian Polar Institute.

A healthy fine will have, we can hope, taught the errant tourist a lesson, and maybe his next vacation will be somewhere where there are no sword-faced land whales — maybe someplace settled, like Tuskany, would be a good pick. Then again, he may be back and may get in trouble again. People like that can be downright untuskworthy. After all, fine or no fine, he may not realize the fate that he was a mere whisker away from. That would be flippin' amazing. But, things worked out wal-right in the end.

Still, other nations are worried about the Scandinavian nation drawing on vacationers interested in the natural world. A recently uncovered ad from the Kenya Wildlife Service reveals their concern with Norway's horning in (hah) on the wildlife tourism market.