Just when you thought it was safe to start... breathing... again?
Breathing, yes, is essential. Essential as in "you can't live without breathing." But now, apparently, astoundingly, amazingly, humans breathing in and out is contributing to climate change. Yes, really.
Whether it's eating less meat or cycling instead of driving, humans can do many things to help prevent climate change.
Unfortunately, breathing less isn't one of them.
That might be a problem, as a new study claims the gases in air exhaled from human lungs is fueling global warming.
Methane and nitrous oxide in the air we exhale makes up to 0.1 per cent of the UK's greenhouse gas emissions, scientists say.
And that's not even accounting for the gas we release from burps and farts, or emissions that come from our skin without us noticing.
Oh, for crying out loud. Did someone spend money and time studying this? What if their conclusions are accurate? What if their hypothesis, confirmed, shows irrefutably that, yes, human breathing in and out really is heating the planet, what do they suggest we do about it? Stop breathing?
But wait! There's more!
Every person breathes out CO2 when they exhale, but in their new study, the researchers focused on methane and nitrous oxide.
These two are both powerful greenhouse gases, but because they're breathed out in much smaller quantities, their contribution to global warming may have been overlooked.
What's more, plants essentially soak up all the CO2 that's emitted in human breath, so 'CO2 contribution in human breath to climate change is essentially zero,' Dr Cowan told MailOnline.
The same cannot be said for methane and nitrous oxide, as plants don't use these gases in photosynthesis.
Still not seeing a proposed solution here. Of course, breathing isn't the only thing we're supposed to be concerned about.
Researchers say those who do not exhale methane in their breath are still likely to 'release the gas in flatus' – in other words, by farting.
It's not enough that we're supposed to phase out fossil fuels, and in so doing essentially phase out our modern technological lifestyle. It's not enough that we're supposed to lend credence to the mouthings of a guy who hasn't been right about one prediction he's breathlessly made in the last thirty years. It's not enough that we are supposed to let unelected bureaucrats place unquestioned limits on how much we are allowed to move about. It's not even enough that we're supposed to put up with climate nutters defacing public buildings, with the apparent aim to do... what? Who knows?
All that's not enough? Now we're supposed to worry about our breathing and farting?
Here's the thing I'd like to see these people answer: Who are we to determine what the Earth’s “correct” temperature range is? That seems a lot like hubris to me. This little blue-green sphere is a tad over four and a half billion years old. Through most of that time, it’s been a lot warmer than it is now. As recently as the Eocene, maybe the Oligocene, there were no polar ice caps. In the more recent interglacials, global temps were higher than now. During the Roman occupation of Britain, the Roman occupiers (yes, the historical lands of white people were once colonized as well) kept vineyards that would not survive today’s British climate.
Our oldest daughter has worked in emergency rooms for about fifteen years now. One of her Laws of the ER is this: “At a cardiac arrest, the first thing to do is to take your own pulse.” In other words, stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and think for a moment instead of running around like your hair is on fire. The whole world could stand to follow this approach, not just on this issue but many others as well.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go on inhaling, exhaling, and passing gas as I always have. I suggest all you readers do likewise.
This seems appropriate.
