Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Impeachment-Style)

Did you happen to catch the reality TV version of the Disney cartoon movie “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” on Wednesday? That would of course be the Nancy Pelosi presser in which she announced her Seven Dwarfs, who were appointed as impeachment managers for the upcoming impeachment “trial” in the US Senate. If you want to waste 30 minutes of your life, you can watch the whole scripted press conference here (fast forward to the 30-minute mark where it starts):

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I don’t know about you, but I swear that I was watching a complete farce as I listened to the prepared remarks that all eight of those fools bleated. What the heck was that introduction part about the “importance of time” and all the other quotes from our Founders from Pelosi about at the beginning? Was she repeating what she learned in eighth grade civics long ago? Lunacy. She was trying to put lipstick on a pig (she has a lot of practice on doing that on a daily basis; check her out). And the accusations made by her and those seven rabidly partisan Democrat dwarfs weren’t even in the articles of impeachment, e.g., extortion of the Ukrainian president, Russian hacking of Bursima in support of their supposed efforts to aid the President in the 2020 elections (!), pressuring Ukraine for the President’s own benefit, Putin doesn’t get to pick American presidents (Mueller report concluded no Russian collusion!), cheating in the next election, a Senate dismissal is coverup, the President betrayed the country (the word is treason, Nadler), breaking the law in withholding foreign funds appropriated by Congress, the President is rigging the next election, the Senate is on trial as well  as the President (that’s a new one), the President “targeted a private citizen” (Hunter Biden) for personal gain, “no one is above the law” (and we’ll finally see some equal justice under the law and due process for the President during the Senate trial!), violation of the oath of office, undermining of national security, and jeopardizing of our elections.

Sorry, San Fran Nan, I thought the articles cited obstruction of Congress (sic) and abuse of power. I didn’t see the words extortion, treason, violation of oath of office, undermining our national security, or jeopardizing our elections in your articles!

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If that press conference wasn’t a cartoon show, then nothing was. As I watched it, I couldn’t help but attempt to correlate the characters at the press conference with those in the original 1937 film. Okay, they’re all Dopeys. Here’s my take when forced to parse them out accordingly:

  1. Evil Queen (substituting for Snow White): Nancy Pelosi; the real Snow White would have never picked these fools
  2. Grumpy: Adam Schiff (Intel Committee); mad at the world, but mostly at President Trump
  3. Dopey: Jerry Nadler (Judiciary Committee); who else qualifies based on absurd statements?
  4. Doc: Hakeem Jeffries (Democrat caucus chairman); he’s been pursuing the “impeachment remedy” since the President was elected
  5. Happy: Zoe Lofgren (third time the impeachment charm wishful thinker); she is excited about the opportunity to boot the President – and has been throughout the last three years
  6. Sneezy: Val Deming (Judiciary and Intel member); the only category she fits, as she’s allergic to the truth but should know better as a former prosecutor
  7. Bashful: Sylvia Garcia (freshman from Texas); she’s window dressing and represents the nod to Democrat identity politics
  8. Sleepy: Jason Crow (not on either Judiciary or Intel Committee; former Army Ranger); awakened just for this farce, and more window dressing to convey that Democrats have former military guys, too (even if he is a left-winger)

The Democrats turned the concept of a “fair trial” on its head. A fair trial is afforded to the DEFENDANT, not the state’s prosecutors! That is what fairness means, and this cannot be repeated enough. The Democrats had their chance to “prove the case” in the House, but they failed miserably. Pelosi noted that “Seventy percent of the American people want a fair trial.” Yes, Americans want to see the President receive due process, not the spin-job that Pelosi and her dwarfs have been propagating for the last three months. They know full well that the Democrats gave the President a raw deal in their highly partisan star chamber impeachment proceedings in the House.

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A final word: Schiff claimed that this would be the first trial without witnesses if Senator McConnell has his way. We already have a “first” courtesy of him and the other Democrat dwarfs in the House: a first Senate impeachment trial without any alleged impeachable crimes. Turnabout is fair play, Shifty.

The cartoon show continues…

The end.

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