Former FBI Director James Comey has maintained a personal Twitter account since he was summarily fired by President Trump on 9 May 2017. [Note: Comey’s leftist supporters claim he was “dismissed;” yeah, right, given what we’ve learned about him from the Horowitz report, etc., he was fired for cause.] Anyway, his periodic tweets since then can only be described as esoteric, bizarre, and detached from reality – unless there is something more to them than meets the average eye. It’s tinfoil hat time, folks! But first, here is what leftists and other garden variety Democrats have thought about Comey’s tweeting from the very beginning, as reported in the Washington Post:
There’s a popular theory among Comey’s disciples that his tweets, which take the form of simple quotations and photos of trees, should not be read literally, nor in a political vacuum.
Rather, the theory goes, the mystic writings of former FBI director James B. Comey aimed squarely at our political leaders — and at the president who fired him, in particular.
And then there’s this puff piece from early 2017 in which the New Yorker compared Comey to Reinhold Niebuhr, a 20th-century Christian theologian and ethicist:
It may be of no great significance that a Twitter account likely associated with James Comey has Reinhold Niebuhr’s name affixed to it. And yet the Niebuhr connection serves as a reminder of the roots of public service – the compote of ideas, personality, influence, and moral virtue that prompts Comey and people like him to go into government work in the first place.
Yeah, right. Comey really fits that description, doesn’t he? We have watched his bald-faced lies and smug equivocation and prevarication in countless television interviews over the past 2.5 years, and the Horowitz report completely destroyed his personal narrative – as well as any notion that he was “ethical” and an heir to Niebuhr’s orthodoxy.
Other observers have speculated that Comey’s tweets range from simply trolling President Trump to sending secret messages to other members of the cabal via steganographic techniques. Let’s run with the latter theory for a bit (my tinfoil hat is now on). Here is a good working definition of steganography:
Steganography is the technique of hiding secret data within an ordinary, non-secret, file or message in order to avoid detection; the secret data is then extracted at its destination. The use of steganography can be combined with encryption as an extra step for hiding or protecting data. The word steganography is derived from the Greek words steganos (meaning hidden or covered) and the Greek root graph (meaning to write).
Steganography can be used to conceal almost any type of digital content, including text, image, video or audio content; the data to be hidden can be hidden inside almost any other type of digital content. The content to be concealed through steganography — called hidden text — is often encrypted before being incorporated into the innocuous-seeming cover text file or data stream. If not encrypted, the hidden text is commonly processed in some way in order to increase the difficulty of detecting the secret content.
I can now confirm that Comey has been sending secret messages to his fellow conspirators for months, as I have deciphered a number of them, which convey some interesting insights, as follows:
Little Round Top, Gettysburg. Good place to think about leadership and values. pic.twitter.com/o1cKBXrLCl
— James Comey (@Comey) October 19, 2017
Translation: Guys! See those five rocks lined up left to right? If our Deep State allies fail to spike the investigations, those will become our headstones.
We must get better at disagreeing without hating. The Russians know “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” So they push us on social media from all sides. If we stand together as Americans and debate issues respectfully, then our true enemies will be defeated.
— James Comey (@Comey) August 3, 2018
Translation: Great news, guys! Our Russian friends are saying “thanks” for helping implement their dezinformatsiya plan to divide the country. Keep up the spinning.
— James Comey (@Comey) August 16, 2018
Translation: Heads up! Be sure to get debriefed and read out of your security clearances ASAP so that interviews by Horowitz and others at the DoJ will be limited to unclassified content only.
Truth exists and truth matters. Truth has always been the touchstone of our country’s justice system and political life. People who lie are held accountable. If we are untethered to truth, our justice system cannot function and a society based on the rule of law dissolves.
— James Comey (@Comey) August 19, 2018
Translation: Keep up the spinning, guys; it’s working just like we planned, as our media allies are spreading our narrative far and wide, and polls are showing a lot of gullible Americans believe the Russian hoax. We need to help them with a big reason to vote Democrat in order to take over the House in a couple of months. Then, we can get rid of Trump, and the heat will be turned off us.
John McCain’s final statement is what genuine American leadership sounds like.
— James Comey (@Comey) August 27, 2018
Translation: Whew! I was really worried that that guy would turn state’s evidence on us because he was very helpful in passing the Steele dossier around and knew where a lot of bodies are buried. We dodged a bullet.
“To keep any great nation up to a high standard of civilization there must be enough superior characters to hold the balance of power, but the very moment the balance of power gets into the hands of second-rate men and women, a decline of that nation is inevitable.” C. D. Larson
— James Comey (@Comey) September 3, 2018
Translation: Damn deplorables! It really gnaws on me that they didn’t understand that Hillary was the rightful heir to Barack’s throne. We were right to do what we did to try to take out Trump.
Small lies matter, even about yearbooks. From the standard jury instruction: “If a witness is shown knowingly to have testified falsely about any material matter, you have a right to distrust such witness' other testimony and you may reject all the testimony of that witness …”
— James Comey (@Comey) September 28, 2018
Translation: Stay strong! Horowitz will never figure out what we did with the FISA applications.
We need a balance of power, badly. https://t.co/iYZoqbwLtS
— James Comey (@Comey) October 17, 2018
Translation: It’s looking like the only way to escape the hoosegow is by electing a Democrat House that will impeach Trump. Get your checkbooks out now!
We will now have a balance of power, which is a very good thing for our republic. Signs of an awakening are everywhere tonight. The giant is stirring. Do not stop speaking and living American values.
— James Comey (@Comey) November 7, 2018
Translation: Now the table is sent to impeach the muthah-f*****h!
"The further a society drifts from truth, the more it will hate those that speak it" – George Orwell. Never forget why our Founders based this country on freedom of the press. We cannot become numb to a President who attacks the truth, the press, and our values.
— James Comey (@Comey) February 20, 2019
Translation: Yikes! Our pals on the Mueller team are telling me that Trump is going to get off the hook. Time to get the spin machine working overtime in advance of the release of the Mueller report.
Geologic time offers useful perspective. pic.twitter.com/tbnjjbt8rE
— James Comey (@Comey) March 23, 2019
Translation: We all need to start thinking seriously about our own personal exit strategies. The tide is turning against us. Make sure you’ve got a couple of fake passports handy.
Writing this brought me no joy. I’m sad for our country. https://t.co/zfKjdGAMp8 via @NYTOpinion
— James Comey (@Comey) May 1, 2019
Translation: Trump found an honest replacement for Sessions. We’re in trouble. Our only hope is to attack him publicly as being a Trump toady in order to discredit him in the public’s consciousness and help the Democrats impeach Trump.
James Comey: No ‘treason.’ No coup. Just lies — and dumb lies at that. https://t.co/bkPc6flgq7
— James Comey (@Comey) May 28, 2019
Translation: I’m still spinning the false narrative. You guys need to get your asses in gear before the Horowitz report comes out!
Bill Barr on CBS offers no facts. An AG should not be echoing conspiracy theories. He should gather facts and show them. That is what Justice is about.
— James Comey (@Comey) June 1, 2019
Translation: He’s onto us! We’re in deep kimchi.
Political candidates and elected officials should not talk about the future prosecution of any individual. Law enforcement decisions must be apolitical.
— James Comey (@Comey) June 15, 2019
Translation: I pine for the good old Obama days when we could go after anyone we wanted to for political reasons without fear of retribution (or even exposure).
This week, an American patriot takes center stage: he doesn’t want attention; has principles and follows them; and always tells the truth. What an opportunity for young people to be inspired. What a great opportunity for both parties in Congress to follow his example.
— James Comey (@Comey) July 21, 2019
Translation: Mueller screwed the pooch. Need a new plan fast.
DOJ IG "found no evidence that Comey or his attorneys released any of the classified information contained in any of the memos to members of the media." I don’t need a public apology from those who defamed me, but a quick message with a “sorry we lied about you” would be nice.
— James Comey (@Comey) August 29, 2019
Translation: Dodged that bullet! Horowitz had me nailed dead to rights, but DoJ “declined to prosecute.”
Despite two years of Trump’s lies aimed at degrading the FBI, it remains a revered institution made up of good people focused on finding truth and doing justice. Stay true to your mission. America needs you.
— James Comey (@Comey) September 4, 2019
Translation: We still have half the country fooled! Keep up the spinning against Trump.
Some media are quoting me from last week about my hope that America will remove Donald Trump by an election, not Impeachment. But we may now be at the point where members of the House and Senate can’t uphold their own oaths to support and defend the Constitution without acting.
— James Comey (@Comey) September 25, 2019
Translation: The Democrats may save our butts (and themselves) yet! This Ukraine bull crap is looking good. Who are the numb-skulls who really believe this crap?
Oaths are sticky things. https://t.co/00vD2sCBY0
— James Comey (@Comey) November 6, 2019
Translation: Don’t look at me about breaking oaths; look at that guy over there! Keep throwing stuff against the wall; we’ve got to make it stick to get rid of Trump.
So it was all lies. No treason. No spying on the campaign. No tapping Trumps wires. It was just good people trying to protect America. https://t.co/9nurCaIBq2
— James Comey (@Comey) December 9, 2019
Translation: I’m going to keep lying until I’m in irons. Thank God that the Washington Post still allows me to publish my baloney, but then they’re complicit, too, so what choice do they have at this point?
Wisdom from an extraordinary American. https://t.co/9XMpTohhX1 via @NYTOpinion
— James Comey (@Comey) December 16, 2019
Translation: Our pals at the FBI and DoJ are still covering for us. We still have a shot to escape the hangman.
I mean, those just HAVE to be his real messages, don’t they? Having broken Comey’s code, the tweet I’m really watching for is one showing the takeoff of a Qatar Airways or Aeroflot jet from Dulles Airport, which will be the signal for all of the cabal to flee the country. That could happen as early as mid-January, as a few of my pals tell me that we’ll see some important indictments at about that time. No steganography needed to convey that message!
The end.
PostScript. For any Democrat readers, here is a little help: this was a parody.
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