It was 1968 and Dr. Paul R. Ehrlich was very worried. He thought that the world would die from human overpopulation. Thus, as he wrote in his Malthusian, alarmist screed entitled The Population Bomb, he felt it was totally permissible to enforce sterilization on the male cohort of the population. Unable to get that through Congress, he instead invented the Women’s Studies Major and wrote much of the curriculum. It was a last-ditch effort to curb the vile affront that is unchecked, pumping virility. I kid, but not by much.

As a result of Women’s Studies, you can learn the most remarkable things in college. Did you know that athletes are a risk to themselves* every week because they are pressured to act masculine? It’s like living with Hope Solo it’s so scary. And furthermore, you don’t like PC-ness because it bans all of your favorite racist and sexist comments. !Que Horror! You can see unhealthy masculinities under every bed. Sometimes even in them! Or you could start your Addicts Anonymous program tomorrow and pull your nasty, Pajama Boy head out of your rump.

Now there are those who get a bit carried away with the whole pumping iron thing. I like to lift 3 to 5 days a week myself, but admit I’ll never accomplish what these guys have below. It’s up to you whether you consider that behavior excessive or just pretty darn successful.

And every so often, there are those guys that just take the whole partying thing a tad too far. You don’t want to be the men pictured below. It’s just not worth it kids….

Yeah, it’s just awful that GI Joe’s biceps have gotten bigger on the action figures. It’s cultural brainwashing rather than industrial learning when plastic Han Solos have increasingly defined chests. Well, ok, actually it’s not. I’ve never really measured myself based on whether my pecs** were as big as an up-scaled plastic Han Solo’s. Seriously, if I can bench 2 plates, squat three and run six miles without requiring CPR, I’m man enough***. Like that heteronormative and oppressive gender stereotype Popeye the Sailorman, I’ve eaten my spinach.

So we laugh at these pathetic, barbaric Women’s Studies trash peddlers. They are obviously doing this because people pay money for bad comedy. As long as places like Vanderbilt make these things optional, ridicule is the condign course of action. While we are laughing at all the strawmen being set on fire by academia’s laughable leftists, there is also something else worth observing.

The academic leftists are deliberately conflating manhood with prolonged and unhealthy boyhood. They associate it with Peter Pan Syndrome. I can’t imagine Pajama Boy understanding it through any other frame of reference. This is obviously wrong because even Peter Pan eventually discovers that beer costs money and that you hurt the morning after a 2-hour session at the gym.

Manhood involves equipoise, but then again, what would Pajama Boy know about that? These trade-offs are what separates Phil Robertson’s America from the one portrayed in the Manshaming sessions at Vanderbilt University. A varied set of trade-offs also separates Pajama Boy from Brooks Brothers Man. There are a lot of different ways for humble guys like Little Old Moi, to finally man up. A society full of Conan the Barbarian imitators would have its problems. But a society of Pajama Boys would not long remain in existence. Neutering men is a very poor evolutionary strategy.

*-So are policemen and fire-fighters. Let’s make it illegal to dial 9-1-1.
**- I will get a little more diet-conscious if my wife tells me I have bigger breasts than she does…
***- I see at least one guy in the gym every day who could put both of those totals to shame. Do the best you can with what you have and accept your limitations.