It was June 10, 2008 and Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich from the 10th District of Ohio had proudly introduced H.Res.1258 entitled Impeaching George W. Bush, President of the United States, of high crimes and misdemeanors. He brought with him a Star-Wars Cantina Scene of 11 co-sponsors including Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee proudly representing the 18th District of Texas. The bill went on for 167 pages outlining all the nefarious deeds performed by the man Sheila and her cronies frequently referred to as “The Smirking Chimp.” Her “Chimpeachment” motion was quashed by then-speaker Nancy Pelosi and ultimately contributed about as much to American Democracy as most of the rest of Dennis Kucinich’s laughable tenure in political office. However, it became germane just yesterday because Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee was dumb enough to dig it back up and put it on display for condign mockery. It seems that The Gentlelady From Texas
has made the following claim.

It is a historical fact that President Bush pushed this nation into a war that had little to do with apprehending terrorists. We did not seek an impeachment of President Bush because as an executive, he had his authority.

A cursory review of H.Res.1258 (AKA The Kucinich/Wexler Impeachment Articles) shows us the following.

The Kucinich/Wexler impeachment resolution contained 35 articles covering the Iraq war, the Valerie Plame affair, creating a case for war with Iran, capture and treatment of prisoners of war, spying and or wiretapping inside the United States, use of signing statements, failing to Comply with Congressional Subpoenas, the 2004 elections, Medicare, Hurricane Katrina, global warming, and 9/11. The 2003 invasion of Iraq was the most substantial portion of the articles of impeachment introduced by Kucinich and Wexler. 15 of the 35 articles directly relate to alleged misconduct by Bush in seeking authority for the war, and in the conduct of military action itself…

In no functional model of the universe can Sheila Jackson-Lee claim that The Democratic Party didn’t at least attempt the Impeachment of President George W. Bush over his use of executive authority in relationship to his conduct of warfare in Iraq. Thus, the Politifact Column of The Tampa Times rates this statement as “Mostly False.” This would be slightly less dubious than a statement rated “Gastro-Intestinally Produced Nitrate Fertilizer.” But then Congresswoman Jackson-Lee wouldn’t quite grok that because she’s convinced that Nitrates are cheaper than Day Rates. You could show The Gentlelady from Texas into a room full of horse poop and come back 24 hours later to find her still looking for the cute, little pony. She subscribes to TV Guide so that she knows which night of week to tune in to Saturday Night Live. When it comes to brightness; she’s a sub-standard candle. Pluto reflects greater luminosity in the direction of Earth.

How can I say such evil and insulting things? I can recall her previous career. Her trip to JPL belongs in The Hall of Congressional Infamy. She asked the good and worthy Astro-physicists whether the Mars Pathfinder had photographed where our astronauts had left the flag. Her geographical misunderstandings extend to Earth as well as other parts of the Solar System. 38th Parallel; 17th Parallel, whatever. I can’t even begin to fathom why else she would have said the following back in 2010.

“Today we have two Vietnams, side by side, North and South, exchanging and working. We may not agree with all that North Vietnam is doing, but they are living in peace. I would look for a better human rights record for North Vietnam, but they are living side by side.”

And her grasp of American History doesn’t really quite qualify as a grasp. Give her two or three days and she’ll get back to you on who the City of Houston was named after. She offers her best estimate of the age of the US Constitution below.

Maybe I should offer a good thanks to the distinguished members of the majority, the Republicans, my chairman and others, for giving us an opportunity to have a deliberative constitutional discussion that reinforces the sanctity of this nation and how well it is that we have lasted some 400 years, operating under a constitution that clearly defines what is constitutional and what is not.

So I hesitate to accuse Sheila Jackson Lee of lying per-se. You have to acquire knowledge first in order to falsify it. It’s really tough to lie when you’re the type of person who walks into flat-screen TVs the way disoriented birds fly into skyscraper windows. Sheila might really have a bad enough case of Early-Onset Alzheimer’s to not even remember Co-Sponsoring the Kucinich-Wexler Impeachment Resolution. I keep expecting her to ask some poor witness at a Congressional Hearing “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?”

The Roman Empire got better use out of Incitatus than the American Republic ever got from having Sheila Jackson-Lee in The House of Representatives. She is prima-facie evidence of a nation in decline. She can’t prevaricate without looking the word up in a dictionary first to see what it means. The woman should be impeached for encroaching senility.