In this episode of “Just Shoot Me Now,” we learn that “white veganism” is, indeed, as the headline reads, the new “white supremacy.” Yes, you white people who practice veganism, you are white supremacists! Thing is, the ridiculous notion isn’t new — relatively speaking.

Before we get to the hilariously nonsensical video I referenced in the headline, let’s first rewind the tape a few years. On January 26, 2018, in an article published on Thrillist, titled “The Vegan Race Wars: How the Mainstream Ignores Vegans of Color,” the author wrote the following. (What does Axios call it? “Dig deeper”? [sarc]).

Search the phrase ‘vegan person’ on Shutterstock, and it will return 486 pages of results that would insinuate all vegans live a life among lavish spreads of ripe fruits and crisp vegetables, eating bowls of perfectly dressed salad, and basking their lithe bodies under an abundance of sunlight while donning perfectly bleached smiles.

“Spend a few more minutes scrolling and you realize something a little more questionable is afoot,” the writer suggested: “It takes until the bottom of Page 3 until you see a single face of color in an image.”

Okay? And?

There is a clear divide within the world of veganism that is, quite literally, black and white. Mainstream veganism, which advocacy sites like Vegan Voices of Color [you gotta click on that site and check it out] define as white veganism [which is “outright racist,” declares the link] tends to overlook vegans of color by excluding them from the dominant discourse. The result is two very distinct and separate vegan cultures often at odds with each other.

“Cruelty-Free Eating”

Then, a history lesson from our pal at Thrillist.

Veganism as most people think of it today didn’t emerge as a concept until 1944 when British woodworker Donald Watson coined the term to separate vegetarians who ate animal products from those who did not. Watson, lauded by many as the father of mainstream veganism, went on to found The Vegan Society, which helped solidify veganism’s place as a lifestyle.

But these ideologies and traditions had flourished in communities of color for centuries prior, if not longer. Eastern religions like Hinduism, Jainism, and Buddhism all advocate eschewing animals and animal products in some format because of the belief systems centered around nonviolence.

Cruelty-free eating is also a strong thread in Rastafarianism, where followers, who reject unhealthy manners of living, engage in a way of eating know as Ital, stemming from the word “vital.” The diet, encouraging plant-based unprocessed meals, was developed in the 1930s in Jamaica, and is believed to have evolved from Hindu traditions brought over with indentured Indian servants, according to the Miami New Times.

OK, that’s enough of that; you get the picture.

In what our friends over at Twitchy said could “seriously be a damn SNL skit,” comedian Chrissie Mayr tweeted a 30-second video of apparently radical vegans [Can you believe that’s a thing?] that I’m not even going to explain to you and ruin. As I suggested in the headline, it’s ROTFL hilarious — and as Twitchy said, could be a “damn SNL skit.”

But I will give you a hint: these morons appear to be nothing more than programmed bots.

Just when you thought vegans couldn’t get more annoying pic.twitter.com/GkPcszX38p

— Chrissie Mayr🕳🐇 (@ChrissieMayr) March 25, 2021

Some of the reactions of those who have been fortunate to view the video made more-than-predictable comments.

Is this a skit? This is a skit right?

— Greg Stolzberg (@GregStolzberg) March 26, 2021

Well that’s 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back

— Pepper Brooks (@AlteredAnglePB) March 25, 2021

There is a joke about eggplant in here somewhere but I just dont have the energy rn.

— Waffle Fries (@sexrobot9) March 25, 2021

“See what happens when you cut meat from our diet,” tweeted user “Pure Evil.”

See what happens when you cut out meat from your diet. pic.twitter.com/fEJ7Fns1mk

— Pure Evil (@Louder23) March 25, 2021

Along with Twitchy, “Rick Sweet” was right.

Ten years ago this would have been an SNL skit.

— Rick Sweet (@Rick845Sweet) March 25, 2021

Finally, this observation from “Samuel Martin.”

Don’t hold it against them, you need at least basic meats for a full and balanced diet and in turn a healthy mind and body

— Samuel Martin (@sammartin813) March 26, 2021

Being the deep thinker I am [sarc], here’s the way I see it, per Samuel’s point: if God didn’t want us to eat animals, why does He make them out of meat?

H/T~ Twitchy