(EDITOR'S NOTE: This is Part 2 in a four-part series about conditions in the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department under Sheriff Robert Luna, in the wake of a rash of suicides in the department. As in Part 1, what you are about to read in this installment is an open letter from an active L.A. County Deputy Sheriff, whose name is being withheld due to fear of retaliation. The letter is published in its entirety, with original spelling and grammar.)

Hello again,

First and foremost, I have to express my heartfelt gratitude and appreciation to everyone in the Antelope Valley who took the time to express sympathy for the loss of our partner, Deputy Ryan Clinkunbroomer. The condolences, the flowers, the cards, and all the other support given to us are greatly appreciated. We've seen the best of our Antelope Valley community shine bright for us in one of our darkest moments. We Deputies are supposed to be the ones who help others when the worst happens. Because of that, we often create emotional walls and barriers. We tend to bury our emotions at work, so we can handle bearing witness to trauma and even death on a daily basis. When one of us becomes the victim, those walls get crushed, and a tidal wave of hurt, loss, anger, and adrenaline lays us bare to all that buried anguish.

I said it before: we Deputies see you. Everyone who waves to us. Everyone who thanks us for our service. Everyone who we have had the ability to help. Everyone who sends us cards. Everyone who prays for us when one of us gets hurt or killed. You are the reason we are willing to stay. You are our neighbors and our friends. Thank you.

But there are others. Some of those "vocal few" I spoke of in my first letter. Some of those vocal few saw fit that night Ryan was murdered, to tell some of us to our faces that they were glad one of us was gunned down. Anyone who still has the gall to say we target or harass people, or use unnecessary force, consider this; no Deputy lost their composure at ANY of those contemptible people in these last few days. Because those people, however hateful they were, did not commit a crime when they taunted us in our sorrow. Despite them, we continued to serve the Antelope Valley to the best of our ability, and in the worst of circumstances.

The truth is, those vocal few have always been free to speak in such ways. Sadly, some people believe the media narrative that we are to be viewed as violent or prejudiced. Media personalities, who get paid very well and achieve celebrity status by being Professional Victims, constantly accuse us on their platforms of being violent, all the while knowing that as a rule we do not use force on someone unless we know we are threatened with physical violence, or when someone is resisting a lawful arrest once we believe a crime has been committed. But their narrative has emboldened disrespect to law enforcement as a whole at the very least, and violence at the worst.

Worse still, those vocal few have recently been bolstered, and even encouraged by Sheriff Luna and Chief Kneer when they saw fit to hold press conferences that publicly destroyed the reputations of two AV Deputies this summer just to score political cred with those vocal few. They did so without completing any department-level investigations, let alone any court proceedings to determine guilt or innocence. They also made those press conferences wearing suits, rather than our uniform, a visual cue to show the vocal few their willingness to publicly distance themselves from those who proudly wear the uniform every day.

LA County Sheriff Robert Luna wears the department uniform, during a press conference about retail theft, but a suit when talking about use of force incidents.

In the days that followed, Luna and his command staff came to the Antelope Valley. Luna was pointedly asked by Lancaster Deputies in regard to the Winco incident as to why he didn't consult station Detectives investigating the incident, considering the severity of Luna's actions. His response was condescending: "We don't talk to station Detectives."

Also, Luna's comments to Deputies about the use of force in Palmdale involving an intoxicated individual who held a baby as a shield to prevent arrest were both demoralizing and contradictory. In the meeting with Lancaster Deputies, he said he stood by his decision to fire the Deputy involved. Yet that same day, when asked by Palmdale Deputies if he felt the firing was justified, he said, "I'm not sure." He also said in regard to this incident, where a baby was used as a shield, "Just walk away. He didn't have to make that arrest."

Message received. And not just by us.

In the last two months at least one domestic violence suspect in the AV -- that I know of -- was allowed to walk away from Deputies once that suspect purposefully grabbed their own child as a human shield to prevent their arrest; thanks to the media circus perpetuated by Luna's inflammatory public remarks.

Luna's remarks and presentation of footage also helped fuel hundreds of death threat phone calls to Deputies, made to the offices and 9-1-1 phone lines for Lancaster and Palmdale Stations. For all the massive stress placed on the small amount of personnel each Station has, Luna and his command staff's answers to all of our questions about how to perform our duties, when those incidents were handled in line with current policies, were dismissive at best. We were told department force policies will eventually be changed in the future, to reflect the punishments he doled out here and now. The only guidance we were given by him was, "Just do your jobs."

Deputies have been worried about those death threats. Deputies have also worried if we get into a fight with a criminal that offends the sensibilities of the Sheriff or his command staff, that we could be fired, or criminally charged ourselves. As a result, several AV Deputies have quit the Department in the last two months. Some for lesser paying jobs at other law enforcement agencies they felt would at least value them. More still are planning to leave.

Now the ultimate nightmare for every cop has happened. Ryan, with the best parts of his life ahead of him, was murdered. Even in the horror and chaos of the moment, his friends, his partners, followed their training. His partners valiantly tried to save him, we searched for his killer, and we still responded to every other emergency in the Antelope Valley at the same time. Most would not go home until his cowardly assassin was caught.

The stress of losing a Deputy is something that can't easily be put into words. We work long hours, weekends, holidays. We miss family events, birthdays, and anniversaries. Being around others who share that burden forms lasting bonds. We become another family. We lost a coworker, a brother, a friend, and more. A loss like that can be overwhelming. Everyone who's ever worn the badge should know that. So, when Deputies from all over Los Angeles County responded in minutes or within a couple of hours, it was expected. Even retired Sheriff Alex Villanueva came to AV Hospital from LA in less than two hours. Luna took over five hours to show himself. Yet another slap in the face to the professionals here under his command.

Still, the disrespect for AV Deputies continues. In the past, when a Deputy has died in the line of duty, that Deputy's Station gets shut down for a day or two so that the Deputy's partners can process the loss, together as a family. When that happens, Deputies from other Stations throughout the County are ordered in to cover, so the Station Deputies and civilian personnel can mourn as one. When Sgt. Steve Owen was murdered [in 2016], Lancaster and Palmdale Stations were both granted that immediately after his murder, and for the day of his funeral. As of my writing this letter, no such closure has been granted by Luna for Palmdale. Some Deputies from other Stations have come to work in Palmdale on a voluntary basis, so at least a few Palmdale Deputies on each shift can get relieved to grieve.

We hurt. The feeling that we are not supported by the upper echelon of our own department is like salt in the wounds. But amazing grace has come in spite of the negative. Given how big the Antelope Valley is, it feels like a small town when things get bad. Lancaster and Palmdale Deputies are closer than ever because of the adversity we have faced together. All we have had is each other. Now we have been reminded again through tragedy that we also all of you who have cried and prayed with us. We wouldn't do a job this hard for any other community.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Share this message if you want to support the Deputies in the Antelope Valley.

Thank you, Antelope Valley, for all of your prayers and support.

Thank you and God bless you all.

Just a Deputy