This is the latest installment of our regular feature, “Not Today, Internet,” in which we take a look at the stories that we really don’t want to. For previous installments, click here. If you have a tip for “Not Today, Internet,” you can email me at [email protected].

Good news: No snakes this time!

Bad news: A porn site is looking for a Donald Trump lookalike.

The porn site has been hunting for entrants with ‘unique hair’ and ‘small hands’ since November and says it has received “many” submissions.

Users of the site have been asked to vote for their favourite in the final three with the winner set to be announced during the first 100 days of Trump ‘s presidency.

[…]

The porn site confirmed that the Trump lookalike will have sex on camera once the winner has been revealed.

The series of Trump films are planned to run for four years.

This is exactly what we as a civilization of people actually need right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not morally outraged because Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America and he should be respected for it. In fact, I rather enjoy parodies of politicians.

I am, however, morally outraged that the porn industry would inflict such a terrible curse upon the innocent denizens of the Internet. I realize that shame has very little place in porn anymore, but, damnit, there are lines that should not be crossed.

No one needs to think about Donald Trump and porn in the same sentence. No one needs to be cursed with mental images of anything related to that. This is a downright evil scheme that xHamster has unleashed, and surely the Gates of Hell are open for them.