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My working title included the verb “hate,” but I don’t hate Taylor Swift. I don’t know the woman. However, I do loathe almost everything about her. Before I knew much of anything about her music I loathed the fact that a banner celebrating her hung in Staples Center alongside LA Lakers championship banners. She had a banner for being the Staples Center’s most “sold out” performer. It stretched across the rafters like that was an accomplishment. That was when I was a Lakers fan. My “BL” period (before LeBron James). The Staples Center could have put up another banner for the Lakers for selling out each and every playoff game – but no one would think that was an accomplishment. Because it isn’t. The Kings sold out during playoffs too. It was so aggressively aggravating to non-Taylor Swift worshipers, that the Staples Center finally removed it – but that didn’t prevent me from loathing Taylor Swift from that moment forward.

I have a relative who loves her music and attends her concerts. Her music is on repeat. Why? That is beyond my comprehension. I forced myself to listen to her tripe and I was pleased to realize that, I was right. Her music sucks.

Swift’s popularity revolves around being a man-hater. Swift seems to dump boyfriends on a biweekly basis, then she sings about what an awful man [that guy] was. “Like, oh-my-god, he was, like, so mean,” and “we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together – like, ever.” That last quote is a Swift lyric. If you ate some bad fish and need to barf 10 seconds of her music vid will do the trick.

All of them were mean, I guess. So let me get this squared: She has more ex-boyfriends than Biden has years on the planet and it’s always the guy’s fault? Maybe she’s just a self-absorbed jerk?

And following each breakup/boy-dump comes the inevitable break-up/boy-dump song. How every man did her wrong. That’s some monster creativity. Does she sing about anything else? Maybe her “exes” should demand royalties since she seems to lack for anything else to bleat out.

And what key does she sing in? Is that G? Or something she invented so tech guys could better autotune to her insipid, flatter-than-a-silicon-wafer, sharper-than-a-Ginsu whine? I’m sure she sounds “like, totally awesome” in a studio but she’s supposed to be “incredible” in concert. Really? No one sounds incredible in concert – and particularly not this femme fatale of pop/country music. Yeah, she didn’t kill the radio star, but she’s seemingly trying to kill pop/country music.

This brings me to my final point, and why I couldn’t dislike Taylor Swift more. She claims to be a Christian but “fully supports” abortion. Usually when people say they “fully support” something that means all of it. In the case of abortion, some may argue over when “life begins” but “fully supports” abortion really means up to the point of the baby crowning. “That never happens! That’s a strawman!” Is it? We should ask the (now) very politically active Swift what she supports. If murdering a baby at 8.5 months is a Swift choice, my choice is to loathe her with the heat of a thousand suns. The fact that her music sucks, is just an added bonus.