Air turbulence has been around since, well, air. When Fred Flintstone took flying lessons he immediately ran into turbulence.

If you’ve ever set foot on an airplane, you’ve experienced turbulence. Usually, it’s a little jolt, then the “fasten seatbelts” sign illuminates and the captain will make an announcement.

Hi, folks, this is Captain Bob. I’m your captain. We’re headed into a patch of bumpy air so I’ve turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Please return to your seat as soon as possible.

Anyone who claims that they have flown and never bounced a bit because of turbulence is a lying dog-face pony soldier.

There are a lot of reasons for turbulence but “climate change” isn’t in the top 20 reasons – regardless of what alarmists want to claim. Even if it is on the list at all, there is little to no reason to blame it for something that fliers and passengers have felt since the Wrights flew down a windy beach at Kitty Hawk.

I spent about 2 minutes Googling “turbulence” and “passenger injury.” I found plenty of examples fitting the search, one in 1983 that resulted in several severe injuries caused by clear air turbulence. In 1983 we were just a few years removed from predictions of a coming ice age. I could find thousands of examples fitting the search query if I spent more time. Why does turbulence hurt passengers? Because the second humans turned a prop or flew at 20,000 feet turbulence bumped people out of their seats and against something hard.

In December, a flight to Hawaii ran into turbulence and 36 people were hurt. One person described it as a sudden and severe drop of the aircraft. Yahoo News produced an article placing the blame on “climate change.” According to Yahoo News:

“Climate change may make such events more common in the future, according to some scientists”.

“Severe weather increases chances of turbulence, and due to climate change, these kinds of incidents will only continue to grow,”

Who is the source of this dire revelation? A woman named Ann Taylor Garland. She’s the spokesperson for a flight attendants union. She has a communication degree.  I’ve often thought a go-to source for information like climate change predictions would be flight attendants. That, and peanuts.

I asked a friend of mine who used to be a flight attendant what were her worst turbulence experiences. She said flights to Asia, Australia, and Hawaii. I asked if she thought climate change was to blame. She smiled and offered me some peanuts. Ok, she didn’t offer me peanuts, but she did smile and say no to the climate cultist. So I pulled out my flight attendant expert to cancel Garland’s opinion.

In a linked article, the single sciency-guy Yahoo News cites is Paul Williams. I don’t think this Williams is the short actor who was in Smokey and Bandit, but it might be.  This Williams made a bold prediction. In 25 years we might, just possibly, it-could-happen… maybe, be tossed around by turbulence between New York and London for 20 minutes instead of 10. His evidence? Williams said he ran some “computer simulations.”

“Williams believes that climate change is modifying turbulence, and started studying the subject in 2013”.

Another flight attendant who is president of the flight attendant union said:

We have flight attendants who have been thrown into the ceiling and then back down several times, resulting in broken limbs. In the aisle, with unannounced turbulence, we had people who lost toes”

The aviation industry is taking the problem very seriously, Nelson says, but the transition to sustainable fuel must accelerate to tackle the climate crisis, and some regulations need to change. For example, the ability for children under the age of two to fly on their parent’s lap.

“That is totally unsafe and our union has been calling for a seat for every person on board,” Nelson says. “Not only can a child be thrown around the cabin, but when they come down they can actually hurt someone else, too.”

Crying kids were my biggest fear on airplanes. Well, that and an adult who resembles 350 pounds of well-chewed bubblegum sitting next to me. Now I have to worry about kids as missiles?

You learned something today. Flying missile kids are, apparently, a thing and they are caused by climate change. One thing I do know – everything can be linked back to climate change. Those are the rules.