Former President Donald J. Trump won huge in the Iowa Caucus Monday night, sealing the victory in the first primary contest to officially kick off Election 2024. In his speech, Trump made a call to unify the party and the country.

I really think it's time now for, everybody, our country to come together. We want to come together, whether it's Republican or Democrat, or liberal or conservative, it would be so nice if we could come together and straighten out the world and straighten out the problems, and straighten out all of the death and destruction that we're witnessing. It's practically never been like this. It's just so important. And, I want to make that a very big part of our message, We're gonna come together. It's gonna happen soon too. It's gonna happen soon. 

Aside from Vivek Ramaswamy, after listening to the concession speeches of former U.N. Ambassador and South Carolina governor Nikki Haley and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, all I could say was, "What are they smoking, and why aren't they sharing?" There was a whole lot of Copium being passed around from the candidates, their surrogates, and their supporters. 

The one who probably smoked an entire bowl? Nikki Haley.

Someone needed to whisper in her ear: Uhhh... Nikki... You're neither a new generation nor a conservative. But her brand of Copium seemed particularly potent. Haley went on to quote a week-old Wall Street Journal poll about how she will beat Biden by 17 points and guarantee a Republican House and Senate. Not only is that poll reaching, but irrelevant at this point. It is clear: Iowans must want more of the same, because Trump swept 98 of the 99 counties in the state. 

In the glaring light of Tuesday morning, Haley appears to still be riding her Copium high, predicting debate performances that she will probably never give.

We’ve had five great debates in this campaign. Unfortunately, Donald Trump has ducked all of them. He has nowhere left to hide. The next debate I do will either be with Donald Trump or with Joe Biden. I look forward to it.

— Nikki Haley (@NikkiHaley) January 16, 2024

In the case of Ron DeSantis, he ingested a different strain of Copium.—perhaps a gummy variety.

We got our ticket punched out of Iowa... but... it's still second place—and a distant one at that. A thirty-point spread between you and the victor is less resounding, and more skin of your teeth; even DeSantis' forced bravado couldn't mute that. One of DeSantis' surrogates, Blaze TV host Steve Deace, got ahold of Haley's stronger brand of Copium and did an overly long, reality-impaired thread on X.

Some takeaways from the #IACaucus results in this thread, the first official votes of the 2024 election.

Before the vote, I said I was confident in 4 things:

1) Turnout would be down. ✔️
2) DeSantis would over-perform his polling. ✔️
3) Haley wouldn't finish second. ✔️
4)…

— Steve Deace (@SteveDeaceShow) January 16, 2024

Some takeaways from the #IACaucus results in this thread, the first official votes of the 2024 election.  Before the vote, I said I was confident in 4 things:  1) Turnout would be down. 2) DeSantis would over-perform his polling. 3) Haley wouldn't finish second. 4) Haley would be closer to Vivek than DeSantis.   So I was right on 3/4. But there are details in there that must be further discussed, so we shall.

Deace has no control over the weather, so he cannot own that prediction. So, I would give him two out of four. The rest of the thread is Deace attempting to avoid the Copium crash by splitting hairs and pulling possibilities from his hind parts.

But one named DeSantis supporter did not partake of the Copium. Townhall columnist Scott Morefield woke up this morning without a hangover, and faced reality head-on.

To fellow Ron DeSantis supporters who still think there’s a chance: He visited every county. He and his PAC spent tens of millions of dollars door knocking and organizing what seemed like a solid ground campaign. He had the support of a popular governor and key conservative media…

— Scott Morefield (@SKMorefield) January 16, 2024

To fellow Ron DeSantis supporters who still think there’s a chance: He visited every county. He and his PAC spent tens of millions of dollars door knocking and organizing what seemed like a solid ground campaign. He had the support of a popular governor and key conservative media & Christian figures in the state. DeSantis put all his eggs in the Iowa basket, a state filled with a slice of GOP voters arguably more friendly to his campaign than anywhere else. He had to. It was the only way to shift the Trump winning narrative. Despite ALL that, it wasn’t to be. It was always Iowa or bust for DeSantis. Where do we go from here? I don’t know yet, but this primary campaign is OVER.

I would agree, but Copium is a potent drug and apparently a hard one even for the candidates to kick.