The Remmys Fractured Media Nominations: Kamala Shakes Hands! Kamala Buys Spices! Kamala...(Uh) Walks!

It is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created The Golden Remmington Awards.

This trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or misreport in an audacious fashion.

This week, desperate Kamala fluffing is on display with a smattering of conflicting reports. These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards.

Distinguished Public Service

Bakari Sellers - CNN

We have become very familiar by now with the media working to make Kamala Harris appear as a likable and preferred choice to become president of these United States. This is a tall order for a woman whom the Democrats roundly did not want in 2020, and who mere months ago was sporting lower approval numbers than the infirm Joseph R. Biden. So yes, some image rehabilitation has been needed, and the extremes the press has gone to in order to sell Kamala as something magnificent have become laughable

There may be no lower “accomplishment” than this – Bakari Sellers trying to sell us on the concept that seeing Harris and her husband out for a stroll is somehow notable. Yes, this is something the nation has been desperately hungering for, a leader who can…walk

Melania and Trump take a walk…shit never seen pic.twitter.com/Y2lViijiEZ
— Bakari Sellers (@Bakari_Sellers) September 8, 2024

Distinguished National Reporting

Julia Ainsley - NBC News

In a report seeking to debunk comments Donald Trump made at the ABC News debate, Ainsley sought to prove that he made patently false comments about undocumented citizens voting in this country. Her first bit of proof was in declaring it against the law for illegal immigrants to vote in an election. (Not to explain that passing a law does not eliminate a behavior, but the very fact we are discussing ILLEGAL immigrants who are in the country should be a start.)

But oblivious to her opening claims, Ainsley manages to not only interview politicians in towns where residents of 30 days are permitted to vote for local offices, but she also drops this little nugget late in her piece: In Texas alone, 2,000 illegals were reportedly found to have voted in the last election.

NEW: Our story from last night with @JuliaEAinsley and @DidiMartinez5

Debunking false claims that undocumented immigrants are voting illegally https://t.co/FS3SAgMyNS via @nbcnews
— Laura V. Strickler (@strickdc) September 13, 2024

Distinguished Feature Writing

Cathrine Rampell - Washington Post

The press' desperation in insisting on how things are not is not reserved for just Kamala. Her husband, Doug Emhoff, has also been hilariously elevated beyond reality. First, he and Kamala's running mate Tim Walz were said to be appealing to non-testosterone-infused men, and then Emhoff was both embracing AND redefining what masculinity is…somehow. But Ms. Rampell becomes even more desperate.

We are supposed to accept that Dougie is a "high-achieving alpha,” as he basically quit his career for Kamala’s sake and displays “enlightened machismo.” All of this makes Emhoff, according to Rampel, a progressive sex symbol.

From @CRampell: Doug Emhoff, modern-day sex symbol https://t.co/WXEanw1uyK
— Washington Post Opinions (@PostOpinions) August 23, 2024

Distinguished Breaking News

James Hohmann - Washington Post

When you are part of the press pool of a campaign, you have the inside track to collect vital information on a candidate as they reveal their platform and also show who they are as a candidate. That is, unless you are covering Kamala Harris.

Then, given her avoidance of the press and not revealing vital information, policy specifics, nor much in the way of personal details, you get reduced to reporting on any nugget of information you receive. As a result, Mr. Hohmann felt it vital for us to know about the itemized receipt Harris generated when she recently shopped at a spice store.

Kamala Harris just went to Penzeys Spices and bought Creamy Peppercorn Dressing Base, Fox Point Seasoning, Trinidad Lemon-Garlic Marinade, Turkish Seasoning, and Tuscan Sunset Salt Free Italian Seasoning.
— James Hohmann (@jameshohmann) September 7, 2024

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

Jonathan Karl - ABC News

The press was uniformly praiseworthy following the presidential debate held on ABC, but even by those low expectations, you get the sense that many of the plaudits being delivered were already baked into the coverage; as long as Harris did not drool or fall over with her podium, her performance would be deemed a success.

As a sign of this prescribed, rave review tendency, we have Jon Karl on the ABC panel immediately following the debate, and he was just over the moon and practically vibrating over the display he had witnessed by Harris. This was not over anything she had said, mind you. He was thrilled with the way Kamala had taken two steps and shook Donald Trump’s hand!

Jonathan Karl has a thrill up his leg you guys.

"And not only did she initiate it, she walked over to him and sought him out...."#TheHandshake #ABCNews #jonathankarl pic.twitter.com/gcu6VOi0d4
— Heather Champion (@winningatmylife) September 11, 2024

Distinguished Local Reporting

Vonnai Phair - Seattle Times

In yet another failed attempt to correct Trump’s comments at the debate, the Seattle paper took exception with him saying that the CHOP/CHAZ protest that occupied city blocks took place. It is not exactly clear how they can dispute the story that made national headlines for weeks, but try, they did. The best guess is that the argument is that since the protest occupied ONLY six square blocks of the downtown are, it was not “a big portion” of the city.

Now, what does it say about your outlet when you become debunked by yourself??? https://t.co/oDc402X0Yc pic.twitter.com/IyegzNl1oc
— Brad Slager: A Folksy Coach & Joyful As a K-Hive! (@MartiniShark) September 12, 2024

Distinguished Political Cartoons

Justin Metz - The Atlantic

There was talk of history being made, when The Atlantic produced the cover for its October issue that was absent any title, just bare notes and featuring artwork. It was intended to be a dystopian promise of an incoming Trump administration, but the depiction is not only artistic (truly), but also interpretational. What ended up happening was a tableau that appealed to the right, as what you see is a Washington, D.C., that is a dark overcast swamp as Trump is riding in, with an elephant meant to be shown shackled, but could mean he was bringing in the GOP to correct the dysfunction.

Whatever doom this was meant to portray, it managed to inspire just as many others, if not more.