The Remmys Journalism Nominations: Racist Parking, Joy Reid Barking, and a Slate Gun 'Expert' LARPing

In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards," a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today in an audacious fashion.

These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, for this year’s Remmys.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

Joy Reid - MSNBC

Get ready, as we already have a leader in the clubhouse for a year-end trophy. On her private video channel, MSNBC’s primetime pontificating pundit wanted to address the recent passage of a bill in Alabama granting protections for frozen embryos created for in-vitro fertilization. Ms. Reid is, by all appearances, aggravated by this and she goes off on a rant for the ages that departs from Normal-ville immediately and reaches Crazy Town in record time. A flow chart is needed to see the various topics she manages to connect in this unhinged delivery.

She begins being deeply bothered with protecting IVF embryos
Then she asks why Alabama wants more children
Then she brings up slavery because pregnancies meant more property
This leads to the state wanting children for slave labor
And this is said to be done to displace immigrants from that labor
Next, it becomes a plot for the Great Replacement Theory
And finally, it means there’s a “need” to make more white women have kids, a la “The Handmaid’s Tale”.

Utter amazement. Her being bothered by more kids is never explained, how she jumps to slavery is her own magic at play, then declaring the state will use kids for labor ignores the illegality - ditto for slavery in general - and then we see she is NOT bothered by immigrants performing what she declared to be slave labor. How she gets to women being forced to carry these embryos is a complete wonder.

That is some next-level tinfoil-hat crack-pot fever-dream bat-crap hysteria.

"The U.S. has a population of 327 million people… why do we need more kids??"

Watch the entire clip. MSNBC's Joy Reid is clinically insane. This might be the most deranged rant I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/mjd7bU2VCW
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) February 26, 2024

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Glenn Kessler - Washington Post

Moving to the bigger stories across the nation, we look into the matter of immigration, and the crimes attached to that issue. Kessler looked into the matter and he is here to tell us that concerns over these arrivals are misplaced.

There is little evidence that immigrants — or even undocumented immigrants — cause more crime. Still, there is enough ambiguity in the data — or so little hard data — that it’s difficult to point to conclusive findings that would change opinions.

To help out the fact-checker here: 100% of them cause more crime, Glenn. This is based on the very fact that they are illegal immigrants. That is a descriptive word you use in your assessment here. It even appears in the headline.

New #FactChecker -->The truth about illegal immigration and crime https://t.co/aSuZaHHjSl
— Glenn Kessler (@GlennKesslerWP) February 29, 2024

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

Mark Joseph Stern - Slate Magazine

In announcing his upcoming television appearance Mr. Stern alerted us to some gun facts he was prepared to deliver on the air. Wait, sorry about that - I used the word “facts” incorrectly. Stern was going to deliver some gun fantasies. Specifically, he was claiming a recent Supreme Court ruling would allow people to alter their AR-15 with a conversion that would cause the gun to fire 800 rounds per minute. Sounds tremendous, with the sole exception to this being - physics. For one, you would need a magazine that could hold that much ordinance (impossible), and as amazing as it sounds to have an AR-15 that fires over 13 rounds per second, the weapon would most likely melt, and playtime would be over quickly.

Going on MSNBC in a few to talk about how Amy Coney Barrett gets to decide whether civilians can legally transform AR-15s into machine guns that fire 800 rounds a minute
— Mark Joseph Stern (@mjs_DC) February 28, 2024

Distinguished National Reporting

Kelly O’Donnell - NBC News

Ms. O’Donnell, along with being a D.C. correspondent, is also the current President of the White House Correspondents Association. She seems to have risen to that perch by simply regurgitating whatever spin the White House delivers. Joe Biden recently visited the show “Late Night”, hosted by Seth Myers (more on this below.) Kelly declared that Biden was making a “surprise” visit to the show, repeating nearly verbatim what administration wonks pushed out to the press.

However, Joe’s visit was entirely scheduled as an anniversary appearance, since he was on the first episode of the program with Meyers. Protestors somehow knew of this "unannounced" visit ahead of time and were on hand in the lobby of 30 Rockefeller Plaza, largely because this visit had been reported in the news nationally several days prior. It seems this TV appearance had been a surprise to only O’Donnell.

President Biden made an unannounced stop to surprise the audience at Late Night with Seth Meyers to celebrate the show's 10th anniversary.
https://t.co/gDayxinZhA
— Kelly O'Donnell (@KellyO) February 26, 2024

Distinguished Editorial Writing

Fabiola Santiago - The Miami Herald

As the city of Miami Beach contends with an onslaught of Spring Break crowds the authorities are cracking down on the revelers to tamp down crowd sizes and get a handle on the annual problems that are seen. At the Miami Herald Santiago looked at the steps taken and found a curious complaint.

Since the masses are made up of mostly black partiers, there was an odd complaint from her about one of the measures being taken: Some of the planned strongarm tactics are acceptable, but limiting public parking on the beach is somehow racist.

Setting up DUI checkpoints to keep people from drinking and driving is valid. Maintaining a strong police presence, as is done during other large-scale events — valid. Placing a curfew and limiting drinking hours, after shooting and violence break out — valid. But pricing out parking or closing public garages during two weekends that attract Black and brown people is discriminatory.

Parking Is for Whites, Spring Break Blacks, Says the Newspaper for Hysterical Headcases, the Miami Heraldhttps://t.co/ZfyCggNBPm
— RedState (@RedState) February 28, 2024

Distinguished Local Reporting

Michelle Del Rey - The Independent

In a report from Charleston, West Virginia we learned that a gaggle of residents came together for one last tribute to the demise of a local establishment. They gathered in the parking lot to provide a vigil - and make chicken wings and string cheese sandwiches - to provide a tribute of sorts for the departure of the last Hooters restaurant location in the state.

If you are wondering why they did so in the parking lot and not inside at the tables, it is because the location closed down – four years ago, as pandemic shutdowns went into effect, and it never reopened. So the gathering was paying tribute to a building that has been shuttered all this time and is now slated for demolition.

West Virginia’s last Hooters is being torn down. Locals are planning a candlelit vigil – complete with wings.

It's West Virginia
https://t.co/cuQde8pLgl
— Fin FoxGuy - Woke for 2024 (@FinFox2) February 24, 2024

Distinguished Coverage of Frozen Desserts

Seth Meyers - NBC

Ahead of his appearance on the stage with Seth Meyers, President Biden and the host were in another area of 30 Rock, visiting an ice cream parlor on location.