The celebrity who tells celebrities how to act cannot help but act like a celebrity.

He did not last ONE…WEEK.

Joaquin Phoenix just cannot help but be a jet-setting celebrity; it is a curse that comes with his job description, something that pains him greatly when flying first class. It was on Sunday when Joaquin Phoenix gave a heart-rending Earth-saving speech to the collected celebrities at the Golden Globes Awards. After he was announced as the winner of Best Actor, for his portrayal in ‘’Joker’’, Phoenix gave a lengthy lecture imploring others to alter their behavior on behalf of the planet.

In his rambling, vulgarity-laced acceptance speech he opened by praising the organizers of The Globes for changing that evening’s menu to an all-vegan food offering. ‘’It’s a bold move to making tonight plant-based and it really sends a powerful message.” Sure — making a mushroom-based gourmet dish is ‘’powerful’’, we suppose. Then Joaquin at least did something unique with his hectoring — he turned his condescension on the collected elites in the room.

“But I think together hopefully we can be unified and actually make some changes. It’s great to vote. Sometimes we have to take that responsibility on ourselves and make changes and sacrifices in our own lives. And hope we can do that. We don’t have to take private jets to Palm Springs for the awards and back, please. I’ll try to do better and hope you will too.”

This would be a great time to drop the famous quote from Yoda — ‘’There is no ‘try’ — only Do.’’ You have to wonder just how much Phoenix ”tried” to do better, when he suddenly popped up in Washington D.C. today to speak at Jane Fonda’s now-weekly environmental protest rallies. Jane claimed that Joaquin just happened to show up…despite his thanking her for inviting him out, but that’s just me quibbling. Note what he says after.

Joaquin Phoenix: "I struggle so much with what I can do [to combat climate change] at times. There are things that I can't avoid — I flew a plane out here today, or last night rather. But one thing that I can do is change my eating habits." pic.twitter.com/RaZILYq0La

— The Hill (@thehill) January 10, 2020

”There are things that I can’t avoid — I flew a plane out here today…’’ Because flying out to D.C. from California to speak for one minute and 12 seconds was…unavoidable?!

Look, full disclosure, I am not a climatologist — but I am certain that your little motivational TedTalk there could have been just as effective if delivered via Skype on a video monitor, saving who knows how many metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions you are responsible for now as you kited in from the opposite coast. It is going to take a ton of wheat grass-infused portabella and soy organic latkes to offset that poisonous effluvium. But this is par for the celebrity set.

Note his tone, in declaring there are certain things he cannot avoid. We are to assume that his jetting cross-country to give what was mostly a self-aggrandizing speech was compulsory. You rabble just do not understand what it takes to be a celebrity, but he does know how to dictate how your life is to be led. The offensive part of all of this is that he is displaying the traits of the apex elitist. Just five days ago he was lecturing other elitists on how they should alter their lifestyles, talking down to other celebrities about how they conduct themselves.

Joaquin Phoenix cannot be expected to heed his own admonitions. What he does is far too important, and thus his actions — in direct conflict to his grave intonations — are fully justifiable. Well, just for the sake of clarity, my decision to completely ignore the lectures from a privileged 1-Percenter who cannot keep to his own dictates is equally justified.

** for more entertainment, political, or bad movie content follow me on Twitter @MartiniShark