In the 60’s and 70’s, comedian Foster Brooks was a big hit with his “drunk pilot” routine. It was funny to people, thanks to the foundational fact that it wasn’t true.

But a drunk behind the control wheel in real life?

Not a knee-slapper.

Two commercial airline pilots were arrested in Scotland Saturday for failing a breathalyzer test before boarding their Newark, NJ-bound plane.

Good grief.

According to police, the United Airline employees were being held in custody under violation of an aviation law prohibiting intoxication on the job.

Officials said the men — ages 45 and 61 — were called to the airport at 7:35 a.m. and arrested before they could board UA flight 162.

Unfortunately for the passengers, their 9:00 a.m. flight was canceled.

Fortunately for the passengers, their potential under-the-influence demise was prevented.

United posted news of the cancellation — and offered to help those affected — via Twitter:

Thanks for reaching out. We regret that our flight for today from GLA to EWR, UA162, has been cancelled because of crew availability. We wish to assist you over here on Twitter, please send us the confirmation number, name on the record, and date of birth via DM. ^GX

— United Airlines (@united) August 3, 2019

So what’s the Scottish maximum for liquor-lovin’ drivers of large hollow tubes above the clouds? Well, it’s less than half the blood-alcohol amount granted to wheels-to-the-ground motorists.

As reported by the BBC, the two would-be addled airmen are set to appear in court Tuesday. They’ve yet to be charged.

If you’ve never seen Foster Brooks’s drunk character, check it out below as part of the great Dean Martin Show. It’s dated, to say the least — the attitude toward alcoholism has profoundly changed. But even with that aside, Foster’s first line alone is a killer — in today’s woke climate, it would never…fly.

-ALEX

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